One-sided love is not love. It’s torture.
It’s waiting for something that might never happen. It’s looking at someone who doesn’t see you. It’s thinking about someone day and night while you probably never cross their mind. It’s looking at your phone hoping they’d text you or call you as they call someone else. It’s reaching out to them with so much fervor as they respond with indifference.
One-sided love is not love. It’s a battlefield.
You’re battling your emotions. You’re battling your feelings. You’re battling reality. You’re battling everything people are telling you and believing your fantasies. You’re battling your own intuition. Your gut. Your logic. Your heart. It’s a battle you can’t win. A war you can’t stop. It’s losing over and over again. It’s surrendering to something that will eventually destroy you.
One-sided love is not love. It’s heartbreak.
It’s one person giving and the other one is taking. It’s one person loving and the other is not even moved. It’s one person always hoping for something more while the other is avoiding the subject altogether. It’s one person willing to do anything to make it work and the other is not even thinking about it. It’s one person always crying and the other one is always laughing.
One-sided love is not love. It’s self-destruction.
It’s questioning your self-worth every night. It’s constantly wondering why you’re not enough, why you never get picked, why you’re never the chosen one. It’s amplifying every minor flaw. It’s looking at yourself and not liking anything about you. It’s lying in bed overthinking everything you’ve said and done because it must have been something you said, it must have been you. It’s feeling like you’ll never be loved because no one was able to love you back. No one you wanted truly wanted you.
One-sided love is not love. It’s a crush. It’s infatuation. It’s obsession.
It’s liking the idea of someone. But real love is never one-sided. Real love is reciprocated. Real love is patient. Real love is understanding. Real love is two people embarking on a wonderful journey together with all its ups and downs. It’s two people willingly choosing each other. It’s two people trying to accept each other and love the worst parts of one another. It’s two people promising to be there for each other in sickness and in health.
It’s loyalty. It’s reassurance. It’s commitment. It’s intimacy. It’s depth. It’s strength. It’s a reason to live longer. It’s a reason to have faith in life. Real love heals. One-sided love breaks. Real love is the only love you need to look for. One-sided love is anything but love. It’s a poetic term for heartbreak. A poetic term for suffering.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.