I’m learning to tell you how I feel
because I don’t want to be the only one dreaming
and you’re out there living.
I’m learning to say it even if it’s too soon.
I’m learning to speak up when I don’t agree —
when I ask you why it took you too long to respond,
when I ask you why you’re not trying to see me
and when I tell you that I don’t believe you.
I’m done fearing losing you
by letting you get away with
everything that hurts me,
everything I’ll never do to you.
I’m learning to accept you
but also be honest with myself.
I’m learning that if I continue to act
this movie will eventually flop.
If I continue to hide behind my smile,
I’ll eventually burst into tears
and I’m learning to love people
who don’t always make me cry.
I’m learning to be honest with you
and tell you how I want to be loved
and if you can’t give me what I need
I’m learning how to live without you.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.