If you worry too much about what might be, or what might have been, you will ignore and overlook what is. Remember this. Happiness is letting go of what you assume life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything it is.
Over the past decade, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the root cause of most human stress is simply our stubborn propensity to hold on to things. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.
For example, there are a number of times when our minds cling to unhelpful ideals…
- Life isn’t suppose to be this way, I need it to be different
- There is only one thing I want, I can’t be happy without it
- I am absolutely right, the other person is absolutely wrong
- This person should love me, and want to be with me
- I should not be alone, should not be overweight, should not be exactly how I am right now, etc.
In all of these common examples the mind holds on tight to something—an ideal—that isn’t real. And, after awhile, the inevitable happens—lots of unnecessary stress, anxiety, unhappiness, self-righteousness, self-hate, and depressive emotions ensue.
So, how can we stop holding on so tight?
By realizing that (more…)
