Even when all my friends loved you, even when your friends were rooting for me, you weren’t rooting for us, you didn’t love me enough. You didn’t believe in ‘us.’
Even when my family approved, even when your family said we should get married, you didn’t want to take that step. You didn’t want forever with me. You didn’t want to share the best and worst parts of yourself with me.
Even when the timing was right and the distance was close and the doors were all open, you weren’t all in, you weren’t that sure, you ran out of excuses so you started finding lies.
Even when the universe aligned and everything around us was right and perfect and all we needed was just to say yes to the universe and say yes to love. You said no. You backed out. You left.
Even when everyone told you you’re letting an amazing girl go, a girl who loved you more than anything, a girl who would have done anything to make you happy, a girl every man secretly wanted, you didn’t see it. I wasn’t your type of amazing. I wasn’t your cup of tea.
If you thought I was wrong, there was no way anything else would have made it right. Not me, not our friends, not our families and not the universe.
If you didn’t feel it, there was no way anyone could have changed your heart.
If you had to convince yourself, if you had to force yourself, then it was not love and whatever that was, I didn’t want it anymore either.
Because when everything is right, when everything aligns, it makes the relationship so much easier but it doesn’t mean we’re meant to be. It just means it’s convenient for us to be together, it’s easy, it’s safe, it’s not risky.
But I’d rather have everything go wrong, I’d rather have hurdles and obstacles as long as we’re on the same team, as long as we’re fighting together, as long as we’re facing them as one. I’d rather have hard than easy if it will bring us closer. I’d rather take the risk and make the impossible possible.
And this is the most important lesson I learned from you: if you’re hesitant and afraid when things are that easy, what will you do when things get hard? If you’re not sure when everything is so clear, what will do you when things get lost in translation?
So maybe everything was right for us, maybe the whole world was rooting for us, maybe everyone saw something we didn’t see but you were still wrong for me, we were still wrong for each other because love doesn’t care about easy or hard, it only cares about how far you’re willing to go for someone, what you’re willing to do to be with that person and how much you believe in each other to make it work, even if the odds are against you.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.