1. You’re not scared to rock out to some killer instrumentals. Bro. Did you HEAR the French horn at 1:33?? F*cking badass!!
2. You never understood that relationship a buddy’s ex-husband was strange because you were presented to the relationship world through group, and “bandcest” was the standard. Everyone dated everyone else. Most buddies had the same ex-husbands. Company as usual.
3. American Pie was the bane of your existence. Each time you mentioned going to band camp, you needed to put up with innumerable non-group children reciting “One time… at band camp…” We’re more than that picture! We play MUSIC with those instruments! Nothing else!
4. ….But…. it’s additionally kind of accurate. Bizarre shit went down at group camp. !
5. Your fight song is seared into your memory. You’ll be 105 and won’t understand your own name, but in case you hear the opening notes of that tune, your reflexes will kick in and you’ll be reciting the chants word for word.
6. …Also, should you hear Sleigh Ride play over the speakers of any shop during the holiday season, you have to stop all dialogue and hum along to your part.
7. Your allowance for humiliation is greater than everyone else’s. You spent every Friday night wearing a shako before your whole school. Nothing periods you now.
8. Should carry an extremely complete bowl of soup? No trouble. Years of marching band have made you an expert at moving your legs while keeping your upper body fully still. !
9. Saliva hasn’t troubled you. Non-group buddies gag in the sight of someone spitting in public, but they’ve clearly never seen a trombone player empty their saliva valve at the center of the classroom.
10. There’s a unique sadness that comes from tremendous a completely new reed. Good-Bye, my buddy. You fell long before the time that your own time. We could have actually been something. Best of fortune in the Great Beyond. !
11. You feel extremely strange if you’re not matching measure with friends and family. Actually, you often catch yourself mindlessly seeing their feet and striving to get in step with them. YOU CAN’T HELP IT. IT’S SECOND NATURE. !
12. Speaking of, if someone naturally starts walking by using their right foot, they’re likely an extraterrestrial being. You step off with your left foot. Constantly.
13. Individuals can make fun of you for being in group all they need, but you understand you’ll have the last word. All those years of perfecting your embouchure, double tonguing, complicated fingerings, and diaphragm work was great for more than simply musical skills.
14. The soundtrack to your nightmares is arpeggios. So many arpeggios. Never-Ending arpeggios.
15. You get unusually annoyed whenever you’re seeing a film or TV show and an celebrity isn’t even attempting to match the fingerings or beat of the music they’re “playing” onscreen. Like, seriously???? It’s CLEAR they don’t understand what they’re doing!! At least learn a few fingerings! Research your component dammit!
16. You get chills each time a film score has a totally timed timpani solo.
17. You get unreasonably excited when a favorite tune is in an unusual time signature. Men. This really is in 3/4! And then switches to 6/8 for the bridge! Do you understand how cool this is?? They don’t.
18. You automatically subdivide every beat you hear.
19. You were never concerned about “being trendy” because you were trendy amongst the other group children and that’s all that mattered. 
