1. The empath enters the relationship needing heavy, unconditional love. The empath is brought to the narcissist, and feels their requirement for affection is being fulfilled even in the event the narcissist isn’t doing anything to develop the link. The empath feels satisfied and “in love” merely from being around them. !
2. The empath starts to consider they have a “once in a lifetime” kind of link with all the narcissist, as well as the narcissist affirms it – what they have is unique. This really is what makes it appear impossible to simply walk away. !
3. The narcissist can, on occasion, appear to need the relationship as much as the empath does. In fact, the narcissist needs nothing but endless validation, and a person who’s constantly willing to give it’s the ideal match.
4. Over time, the empath will probably be made to feel clumsy. Even if not said directly, the narcissist will indicate they have the ability by saying they “don’t need to damage” them, or by looking back on their interests, or perhaps not letting them manage the day to day statements or anything else that’s a sign of control. This may make the empath feeling reliant on the narcissist, considering that they “demand” them, or at least that nobody else would desire them. !
5. As their bond grows, the empath will find it intolerable to view the narcissist in any type of pain. They’re going to desire only to speak to them, help them, encourage them up… do anything it takes so they are able to feel better again. They subconsciously desire to “repair” the narcissist, or at least alter their lives. !
6. What the empath will not understand is the fact that the feeling or thought of treating their partner’s deepest, most unresolvable wounds, feels the same to them as treating their very own. Nevertheless, it’s not the same thing. !
7. Somewhere along the line, the empath starts to feel frightened to recommend for their authentic needs – it’s more appealing to them to stay more likable (but in secret less happy).
8. The more love, attention, devotion, fondness and work the empath gets into making the relationship work, the more strong the narcissist becomes. Now, it may be tough to understand there are any actual problems in the relationship… that’s, until the empath reaches their breaking point. !
9. Finally, the empath starts to take on the characteristics of the narcissist. Because their psychological needs aren’t being fulfilled (and they’ve been mistaking their partner’s psychological needs with their own) they begin to look “self-centered,” or at least primarily concerned with their very own wellbeing. They may be basically declaring: “My feelings issue,” as well as the narcissist will not enjoy this.
10. What neither party understands at this point is the fact that the narcissist’s needs will never truly be fulfilled (in other words, until *they* wake up and decide to match them). They’re going to proceed to other partners, other avocations, other big business thoughts and creative interests, journeys around the world… and they’ll still be as hopeless as ever. !
11. The narcissist is likely to make the empath feel “mad” for reacting how they’re. They’re going to say they’re being over-striking, and that their concerns are unfounded. This type of termination is the most clear manner they use power and mind control over the empath.
12. The empath starts to attribute themselves. They begin to question if they’ll ever be worthy of love, or what it’s they did that got them into such a terrible position. !
13. What the empath will not understand is that there’s nothing *wrong* with them, there’s something extremely *right* with them, they were simply controlled and used and lied to. They’ve a feeling capability that outshines a number of other individuals’s – this isn’t a terrible thing, it’s simply something which should be protected.
14. Even in the event the empath strives to convey authentically with the narcissist, it’ll be to no avail. They’re going to be deflective and use shoddy reasoning, they’ll make explanations and discover methods to pass the blame, if not convince the empath that it’s at least partly additionally their fault.
15. At this point, the empath will need to do some serious self-assessment. They’ll be left no choice. They’ll understand what occurred before that led them to be so defenseless, plus it is going to be the commencement of their transformation. !
16. The empath will consistently identify as a “healer,” and in locating their inner strength, they are going to probably concentrate on their life’s assignment of helping others in healthy, constructive ways (maybe through a job or calling).
17. The empath must understand that not everyone you fall in love with can be trusted. Not everybody has identical goals they do, and not everyone believes they way they do. !
18. The empath must also understand that they were just as wounded as the narcissist was – and that the point of their relationship was a teaching opportunity, a second for them both to awaken and see how they have to treat themselves. (The empath will come around, the narcissist generally doesn’t.)
19. The empath will think about the experience a debilitating trigger of their awakening.
20. The narcissist will carry on acting as though nothing’s incorrect and as though nothing happened. They’ll deny and practically appear to “forget” about the extreme, strong link they once had with someone, and they’re going to go pursue it elsewhere. After a little time, their problems will come to a head, and they’ll need to make do together with the reality that they can’t join with themselves, let alone other individuals. !
21. The narcissist will walk away looking for their next casualty.
22. The empath will walk away wiser, more powerful and much more cautious about who they give their time, energy, love and life also. 
Brianna Wiest is the writer of 101 Essays Which Will Alter How You Believe, accessible here.
