Extreme Persuasion Techniques      Advanced Mind Sciences

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Masterful Negotiation

 Let's play a little fun experiment. Get a friend to stand  next to you and without warning, begin pushing against her. What do you expect her  reaction to be? Of course! To maintain balance, she'll heave back.

But don't stop there. Push harder, even harder. Observe how she returns exactly the same force (maybe she'll even throw in a slap if you push in the wrong place).

What's the moral of the story? Every push merits a counter shove. Newton's third law of thermodynamics eloquently states the principle, "For every force is an equal and opposite force."

In real life negotiations, this simple fact is often overlooked to the detriment of both parties. Someone would raise a controversial point to which the rival party disagrees. The opposing team then launches a vigorous contradiction. In response, the proponent staunchly defends his position. Voices rise and tempers flare. Productivity spirals. If no one has the sense to realize the futility of direct argumentation, the negotiation ends in a deadlock.

In my seven years of spearheading real estate negotiations for the family company, I've learned one valuable lesson: when presented with a viewpoint opposite to yours, NEVER argue  right away. You simply invite retaliation. The harder you disagree, the deeper your opponent digs in. This is a battle of egos-- no one desires to be proven wrong!

Fortunately, there is a powerful technique that savvy negotiators deploy in order to defuse tension and quickly channel support to their side. Already eager to unleash it? Here's your simple three step plan:  1) acknowledge  the other party, 2) show partial agreement with their stance, 3) then suavely insert your views. This formidable method allows to to avoid presenting an "opposing force" which invites retaliation. Master negotiators call this the FEEL, FELT, FOUND Technique. Commit this to memory and you can easily and naturally recover from any objection or argument!

 Let's see how this technique allows you to defuse any tension:

CASE ONE:

Buyer:  I don't think I'll take your product. Your price is too high

You:  I can understand exactly how you FEEL because others have FELT exactly the same way. But you know what they've FOUND? We offer the widest array of free after-market support and unparalleled warranties. They keep coming back, as I'm confident you will.

CASE TWO:

Buyer:  We've heard disturbing rumors that your company cannot deliver supplies on time. For us, timely delivery is mission critical. How can we do business with you if this is the case?

You:  I understand your concern because I've heard that rumor before as well and our other clients FELT the same way. You must understand that we've long resolved that issue by expanding our supply network with a fleet of new Boeing 747's. Today, we've already garnered the business of fifteen Fortune 500 companies. They've FOUND our services incomparable.

CASE THREE:

Buyer:  There is no way the Board of Directors will authorize the release of $3M for building materials that your competitor can supply for $2.8M

You:  I understand how you FEEL about cutting your costs. All our other buyers FELT the same way. But here's what they FOUND: our materials are class triple A and boast a lifespan three  times that of any other building material on the market. If its longevity and quality you want, we have the best products for you. I'm fully aware that your company has an image of prestige and quality to maintain. With us, we can readily help you provide your customers the best.

Observe how the FEEL FELT FOUND technique quickly defuses the potential for disagreement. As you stop   and realize it now, the technique is very much akin to verbal aikido: you gently take your client's argument,  nullify it through acknowledgment, and quickly turn it inside out with your counterpoints. He'll never know what hit him as he signs your contract!

Taking Your Life for a Wild Ride

What can truly kill a spirit more than BOREDOM?

For me, there is nothing else worse than being locked in a tiny, dingy jail cell with nothing to do. Most folks I know would rather slave at a high pressure job than rot in isolated boredom.

What makes boredom so appalling? So hideous?

First of all, it's the way it’s worded as if boredom is an object. We don’t jump into a tub of boredom and then end up bored for the rest of the day. Boredom isn’t a thing. Boredom is a mental process of thoughts. Stop   and think about that a second.

*If you’re ever bored, it’s because you’re boring yourself.* Okay okay, here's where you can begin laughing at yourself-- and maybe at me for coming up with such heresy. Finished laughing? Good. Let's get serious now and finally exterminate the boredom bug.

Boredom doesn’t occur as a result of external events. It’s an internal state of mind that is labeled by a person as “boredom”.

Realize this: we have complete control over our minds. We run the theatre of our lives. So if we wallow boredom, we’re the ones who bumped ourselves down that path. So who's at fault for boring you? YOURSELF. Come on, and be a man. Admit it.

If you catch yourself boring yourself, remind yourself that you're *allowing it.

Ricky, feeling dull and bored after a long golf afternoon at the Ayala Heights Country Club, might moan: “Hey Rickyboy, I’m boring myself. This is MY FAULT. I better revitalize my mind and sidetrack to something else so I can achieve a more stimulating emotional state.”

Good friends, sandwiched between your ears lay the greatest computer ever created. Do you realize that its powered down 90% of the time? That's what scientists say. Geesh. The human race is lazy indeed.

Use your brain, especially if you find yourself bored! Kick boredom's ass from the inside-out.

Now here's the real secret to truly pump-priming your life: Much of what you do throughout the day is so habitualy routinary that you meander on a dazed auto-pilot. Your activities go on without conscious thought. This does wonders for simplicity and makes our lives less daunting. BUT YOU RISK BOREDOM by going down such a safe route.

Novelty seduces the brain like Mata Hari. The mind relishes new and stimulating experiences. The key to killing boredom and all its ghosts, therefore, is to *begin to do things differently. RIGHT NOW.

People, what I’m suggesting is to hunker down and engage in activities so varied, you'd feel disoriented at first. Scan your mind for for possibilities and force a new program of behvaior into your powerful brain.

Remember, your rallying cry against the tides of boredom is this: “Do things *differently.”

Let me ask you: Did you awaken and freshen up your dull routinary way? Did you cook the same old meal, chug down that same old coffee? Did you drive the same ole way to work?

I’m betting heaven and earth you did.

From now on, boredom is offlimits on *your mental territory... for *as long you do things differently.

Explore new hobbies. Go bungee jumping. Collect exotic pets. Vary your route to work. Change marital partners. (gotcha! just checking if you were listening)

You do all this because trying new things ignites your mind and readily allows you to experience STIMULATION. Do it now and feel what it's like to perpetually soar to the heavens.

Gentlemen, from now on, make it a habit to vary your activities. Avoid the rut of routine. Check yourself each day. If you see a damning repetition of some endeavor, kill it and look for something new... otherwise you're a candidate for debilitating boredom.

So this is your marching order for the day: take charge of your mind and enjoy life. You deserve it

Ignite that Image... NOW

Find a mirror. Gaze in. Run your eyes across your face... your body... your posture... Are you pleased with what peers back at you? Be truthful; no one would know ... are you satisfied with your appearance?... the way you carry yourself?... the expression on your face?... How you see yourself now possibly reflects how others perceive you.

As you look on, you immediately realize how your projected image largely determines your fortunes. Is that a frown... a grimace? Maybe that's why everyone in the office avoids you. Or do you shine like the sun with that dazzling smile and upbeat poise? It explains how easily you get along with your boss and win promotions rapidly.

Should you find your reflection any less devastating than a full ten points, heed the following suggestions now:

1) Recognize what you want. Clearly defined goals, both of the long term and short term infuse direction in your life. Walk through life with a purpose. You will feel important and others will hold you in esteem. Observe how your very outlook and poise changes when you have a defined PLAN. 

2) Delegate responsibility. Maybe your haggard appearance spawns from juggling too many tasks simultaneously. You are only human and with finite abilities. Gather your trusted friends and enlist their help. Focus your action on the most important. You will have more time for more significant things.

3) Attack objectives one at a time. Never diffuse your energy. Even when you have identified your list of priorities, take each one at a time. Remember, your actions must be consistent with your current focus.

4) Project positive thoughts. Avoid thinking of the things you can't do; focus on what you CAN. Every failure is to be appreciated as a stepping stone to improvement. When you sense a negative thought creeping in your skull, squash it and replace it with a positive one. Do you want nasty critters overwhelming you?

5) Be as Buddha... eternally patient. Each time you lose patience, your blood pressure skyrockets. Your countenance turns hideous. Your compromise your performance with sloppy work. And people flee from you. Whenever you feel like climbing the wall, breathe deeply ten times before doing anything rash.

6) Make others feel needed and important. Smile at people like you've been missing them. Remember their names. Greet people wherever you go. You may be the ugliest thing on the earth, but if you make others feel good, they will worship you as a god. Learn when to acknowledge others' skill and authority. We all have our own expertise, so give credit where it is due. And people will admire you.

7) Make others dependent on you. When you manifest genuine admiration and regard for others, they will go against all odds to support your quests. When you lend a helping hand, even when not asked, they will volunteer in your hour of need. Give favors frequently... the Law of Reciprocity demands that the favor be returned.

8) Radiate enthusiasm like a supernova.  PERK UP!!! We love people who walk with a bounce and jump with perk. Feeling low? Pull up that chin and wipe that growl! Unless you're a bouncer, frowning kills your image. Look how these two adjacent photographs compare!

9) Watch your voice.  Keep the "uhms" and "ahhs" locked in a vault. Stuttering, lisps and bad grammar tarnish your image. Modulate your voice like a radio announcer. Here's a tip: prior to giving a long speech, hum loudly and in private for at least a minute. Allow your chest to reverberate. You will happily discover your voice acquiring a deep, mellow timbre. You'd confuse yourself with Sean Connery!

10) Observe poise. Rein in those galloping emotions! Breathe deeply and slowly. Allow your gestures measured movements. Move with great deliberation. Think of what you say and do before you do it. Sudden outbursts make you look unstable.

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