what-you-can-learn

You’ve been there. That instant of devastating realization when the weight of your error seeps into your consciousness, wreaking havoc in your sense of wellbeing. The unexpected, unwanted knowledge that things have gone wrong, and that you’re responsible somehow. The pain of defeat coupled with the sting of sorrow and humiliation, topped off with the knowledge that you’ve likely disappointed someone.

As individuals, we’re combined in our imperfection—our propensity to make errors, even as we grow older and wiser. There’s no concealment from the reality that every single single one of us is exposed to making poor choices. It’s how you decide to deal with the results of any bad selection that shapes you into the individual you become and tells the form of life you lead. No one is perfect. But there’s a lot to be learned from veering off course in life. !

So what exactly does it require to reap a valuable lesson from doing the incorrect thing?

Based on Dr. Margaret D. Paul, co-originator of the Internal Bond self healing procedure, the key to self improvement is “a profound want to learn from our poor picks.”

Basically, in case you face your malfunctions head on rather than wallowing in self-defeat, faking as if they never occurred, you’ll be better placed to move forward, equipped with yet more insight about the best way to browse the world.

“When we understand our errors and make it possible for the pain to move through us, we then open ourselves up to whatever we should learn from them,” says Dr. Paul. !

This rings true to Martha Capon, 25, who’s now thankful to her former self for making so many terrible fiscal selections. Why? Because thanks to a few huge mistakes, she eventually transformed from a “spendthrift with her head in the clouds” into a fiscally accountable young adult. !

After going across the nation on a whim without considering the exorbitant price of relocating, let alone the difficulty of getting a fresh job, Martha racked up tens of thousands of dollars in charge card debt and discovered herself displaced for months on end, reliant upon the charity of pals. The final straw came the day her car was towed because she neglected to read a parking sign, and, unable to pay the $300 fine, she broke down. A couple of days after, Martha understood that it was time to clean up her act. As black as it appeared at the time, she moved back home and went on a self imposed “spending holiday” that altered her life. Now, Martha has a steady job and a savings account. !

Pivoting from any incorrect generally seems to need a healthful dose of self awareness, even if it arrives a tad late, and humility. In addition, you must be eager to give yourself a little rest.

“Folks who judge themselves harshly for errors have a quite difficult time with ‘poor’ selections, while individuals that are kind to themselves can eventually take things in stride and learn from those picks,” says Dr. Paul. !

Ken Chow, 28, understands this principle all too well. For just two years right, Ken dated a girl who was in a serious relationship with a different guy. Rather than paying heed to every one of the red flags, he let himself fall harder and more difficult for this girl who continued to promise him that she’d leave her boyfriend “one day.” Left to observe his birthday alone after being stood up “for the millionth time,” Ken eventually saw himself for what he was: A victim in love. !

Though humiliated, Ken came to see that he needed to cut himself some slack if he needed to pull himself from this type of debilitating scenario. After all, his feelings were true. He’d just fallen for the wrong woman, and made the wrong selection in dating someone who was already taken.

Ryan Holiday, bestselling writer of The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumphs, guides individuals to concentrate on altering what they can, and to forget the remainder. Distinguishing between “what we can shift and what we can’t” in our lives is certainly essential, he claims.

In this vein, Ken quickly cut off all communication with his quasi-girlfriend and vowed never to date someone who was already spoken for again. !

Whether you’ve gambled your way into insolvency or splurged on an ill advised purchase, there’s worth in doing the incorrect thing—as long as you tolerate blame and commit to learning from your error. The lesson concealed within a poor judgement might escape you at first, but it’s there, lurking beneath the pain and grief that has a tendency to accompany poor decision making. The stark reality is, without all the missteps you’ve chosen; you’dn’t be the man you’re now. TC mark

For More on Moral Quandaries, Stream the Brand New Amazon First Series Sneaky Pete on Amazon Prime Video. !

What It Is Possible To Learn From Doing The ‘Wrong’ Thing