XtremeMind.com

[Free Soul]

Hey guys,
in a few week i'm going to deliver a speech and the end of this year of school, and i wondered if i could use some subtle NLP in it, to make it more interesting,etc.

Do you have suggestions, which techniques i could use?

Maybe you can also recommend some rituals/meditation techniques to make me more charismatic?
Do you have tips on improving voice tone,etc.?

Thanks in advance,

Free Soul
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Everything will unfold with ease and beauty... just trust the universe

[elroy]

My friend, feel free to use this speech:


EVER SINCE THE FIRST DAY YOU ENTERED 4-YEAR-OLD KINDERGARTEN, you have been given the impression that you are the world's Hope for the Future. HA! You guys have been told that you are the most intelligent, the best-educated — the most highly evolved — generation in American history. WHAT A CROCK!

What would your teachers know about American history? They've never heard of such a thing. You guys wouldn't even be able to pass an eighth-grade graduation test from a one-room country school in the 1880s!

A funny thing happened to me on the way to this commencement. I ran into an old buddy and we stopped at the University Avenue Tap to read the speech my secretary had prepared for me. We laughed so hard we were rolling on the floor. The bartender, O'Houlihan, said, "Why don't you write your own speech?" It was such a novel idea that we bought a couple of rounds for the house. While O'Houlihan was looking for a pad of paper, we had everybody singing old tunes from the 1950s (you know, "Don't know much about history; don't know much about geography" — so on and so forth).

Sorry I was a little late for the ceremony, but O'Houlihan never did find a pad of paper, so I'll just have to wing it.

THE FIRST THING I WANT TO SAY IS THAT YOU ARE NOT THE "MOST HIGHLY EVOLVED" GENERATION IN HISTORY! You are the first generation in history to be missing 1/3 of your classmates — because of abortion. You are missing two thirds of the classmates you started high school with because they never graduated. BEING "ABOVE AVERAGE" IN A CLASS SUCH AS THIS ONE ISN'T SAYING MUCH!

You have been taught — every day since day care started — that the most important thing is to blend in — not to STAND OUT. People who stand out are "extremists"! YOU'RE MAAAIN — STREAMERS! Well I have news for you:

The people who built this country didn't just "go with the flow." The people who built this country didn't just "ride the wave." Lewis and Clark had to row upstream. The pioneers not only had to go uphill but they had to go against the prevailing westerly wind. They had to go against the grain. The concept of "self-esteem" had never occurred to them.

Even the Mayflower and the Santa Maria had to go against the prevailing westerly wind. They used it to their own advantage. It required a few tacks and turns, but they got to their destinations because they weren't just "middle-of-the-roaders."

This country was founded by people who didn't "fit in"! The Puritans weren't "popular" in Europe. They weren't just "blowin' in the wind" like thistle seeds. They got to their destination. Look that word up sometime (it has something to do with destiny).

The sons of the Pioneers climbed the Appalachians and the Rockies and the Sierras. Some of them didn't make it. But some of them made it all the way north to Alaska. Their conscience was their compass.

They weren't watching Entertainment Tonight or American Idolatry. They were busy enough without those things. It was called SURVIVAL.

Raise your hands if your teachers ever told you anything about Donner Pass or Jeremiah Johnson or Sutter Creek. Helloooo? Is anyone out there? I don't see any hands out there.

Raise your hands if anyone out there can explain the difference between a compound sentence and a complex sentence, AND explain when to use WHOM instead of WHO. Helloooooooooo?

The kids out there in flyover country in the 1880s all could have raised their hands — and they were taught how to read, write, and do arithmetic by teen-aged school marms! If those teachers were here right now, 2/3 of you would get paddled for not paying attention to the speaker.

THEY EVEN HAD PRAYERS AT THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONIES! It was called FREEDOM.

Instead of teen-aged school marms, today you have "safe teen-age sex." They say we have "GREAT SCHOOLS" today. WHAT A CROCK.

The other day, a high school valedictorian tried to tell a little joke about education and his microphone was cut off before he got to the harmless punchline. WELL, as the Gipper used to say, don't worry about this microphone getting cut off. I OWN this microphone. This is a private school and I own this school. The only reason you guys turned out the way you did is because of lawyers. If you guys "feel threatened" or even "sense anger," you go hire a lawyer.

By the way, do you know the difference between a lawyer and a dead skunk in "the middle of the road"? The skunk has skid marks in front of it.

We're not allowed to teach you right and wrong anymore. If we threw an eraser at you, you'd call the cops AND a lawyer! And so this is my last chance as your schoolmaster to get through to you verbally. SO, if this speech runs too long for you, call the cops. See if I care. My lawyer will see your lawyer in court.

I apologize to the Real World out there for the way you guys turned out, but some people are educable and some aren't. Two-thirds of you right here in my own school listen to hip-hop music. What can I say?

[At this point, you take a hip-flask out of the pocket and chug it. ]
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Just as the highest and the lowest notes are equally inaudible, so perhaps, is the greatest sense and the greatest nonsense equally unintelligible.

[Free Soul]

nice one elroy...if i was at a american school i would consider this as a good choice

Did i inspire you to your new thread ?
_________________
Everything will unfold with ease and beauty... just trust the universe

[ghutton]

Elroyian humor. Never fails to elicit grins.
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