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calvieflip

I had the courage to ask this girl out in my class and she said yes. It's a very simple date at starbucks. I'm very excited and at the same time kind of nervous. I have some questions:

1. Should I prepare beforehand all the things we're gonna talk about? Or should I just relax and let the conversation flow? (I'm not good at improvising by the way).

2. Should I pay for her coffee or let her pay for her own?

That's it for now. Thanks guys.

PleiadianHealer

mindful · Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 11:15 pm Post subject:

Not that you are incorrect PH but also remember that caring too much about what she thinks isn't very effective to get her. The True Alpha will just take her coz that's her purpose.. kind of.

noOne · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:00 am Post subject:

Ask open-ended question. Let her talk. Listen.

If you listen attentively you can easily keep the conversation going smoothly from something she has just said. Observe, be actively interested. Ask... let her talk more than you. Listen... let the conversation flow. You are simply speaking and listening to each other, you can't go wrong. Very Happy

Don't get serious... you don't even know her. Be playful... the focus should be on having fun together, not getting the girl.

Whatever you do... please... don't fake! Do not memorize anything. Don't try to be someone else! Let your personality come forth... Be spontaneous. If she is attracted, that's great. If she's not... well she is not for you. (It could be best this way... you never know what the future holds!)
Imho this is the Alpha mind set by the way, since the Alpha can get any women... they are them who should prove enough for him. And that's should be true for any male!

In any case I don't think you would like to get her attracted to a version of yourself you are just faking to be. Be you, let her be herself. That's it.

calvieflip · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:32 am Post subject:

Thanks guys for the replies

You guys talk about being yourself

How about be the person you want to be?

PleiadianHealer · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:53 am Post subject:

HerChi Highway · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:47 pm Post subject:

Get there 5 minutes early, buy your coffee first, sit down and read a book while waiting for her. Make her buy her own coffee. Don't be like every other guy. Let her know that if she had not shown up, you were ready to just chill out, read a good book, and have a nice time by yourself. If she walks in and you are talking to another girl at the next table over, so much the better.

mindful · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:04 pm Post subject:

That's more like it!

Wonderland · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:34 pm Post subject:

I agree with most that has been said. One of the main things - I think you should pay for the coffee. The reason being you said "a girl in my class" implies that you're a younger guy (I'm 23, can I say that?) you're talking about a college or high-school type situation. PUArtistry doesn't apply everywhere and you shouldn't let it define how you handle every situation you're going to be in. So, I would say it's okay for you to buy the coffee.

I'm not into PU - there's some key things that in my opinion are correct and interesting to try out, but I don't agree with a lot of it. I think people should take the whole "be Alpha" approach-thing out of their minds. Or that at least it won't work everywhere. (It certainly doesn't work in normal day to day environments in London.) Interesting though.

Good luck, man.
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WONDERLAND

Wonderland · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:29 pm Post subject:

And let us know how it goes, man. Would be interesting to see how you went about it.
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WONDERLAND

calvieflip · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:30 pm Post subject:

We're college students and she doesn't have a job. So I'll just pay for her coffee.

Do you guys believe that when we're totally in the present moment, words will just come flying out of our mouth, despite our social experience and skills?

HerChi Highway · Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 11:59 pm Post subject:

There is no doubt in my mind that words will come flying out of your mouth. With a little forethough they will be words that will complement the situation.

And don't spend any more than 20 minutes at the coffee shop. Bounce outta there and take her someplace different, she will love it!

ChuckNorris · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:31 am Post subject:

Ahhh. I remember my younger days, where I had this kind of questions all the time...

Well, what works for me is the "read her rights" thing.
You know, like a cop movie, when someone gets arrested. "everything you say might be used against you".
Take what she says and make fun of it. If you can relate with that in a funny way, the better! The idea is, since you are kinda nervous about getting with loss of words, to make the things she say to be on topic longer. Also, a few funny comments goes a long way with almost everyone, specially funny smart comments.
But, do be careful with what you think is "funny". Just don't be carried away and end up offending her.

Other than that, be cool.
Like PH quoted, "Don't be who you thought you were, BE who you wish you were". You don't need to fake. You just need to improve. She already is showing interest in you by accepting to go out on a date. So continue doing what you did to make her to get out with you and try to do something more to make her go for a second, third... Or even to bed.
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"I find your lack of faith disturbing"
Darth Vader

calvieflip · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 3:14 am Post subject:

ChuckNorris · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 3:32 am Post subject: