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Mr. GreenTea · Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:09 pm Post subject: Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a @#$% one way or the other.
_________________
Quotes ≠ Knowledge.
Doing brings Knowledge!
Right ≠ number of believers.
Results show Rightness or Wrongness.
Quoting others ≠ being right even if they are!
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Dreamweaver · Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:08 am Post subject:

heh heh heh lol

I love cats....

Even the ones that dont meow too Twisted Evil

zodiac5 · Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:22 am Post subject:

When you read DOG backward, see what it is. That's why dog becomes man's best friend...of all the animals in the planet. But dog also is very horny it's the only animal that you can see to have sex in the street.

Wink

_________________
“Essence, Chi, and Spirit are the three jewels of life.”
-Master Ni Hua Ching

Prayer of Serenity -
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I like being around fresh food - it energizes me." -JOE SATRIANI, FEB. '88 GP

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lZFWLEFLXqQ

Darkblade · Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:42 am Post subject:

flies too. They tend to land near my food while in copulation! Embarassed

Mr. GreenTea · Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:55 am Post subject:

Starchild · Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:32 pm Post subject:

SolarFeline · Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:07 pm Post subject: Re: Where do pets come from?

Great joke Mr Green Tea! Thanks for that. Wink

Saved it, and passing it on.

What I have learnt from the previous Cats in my life...hmmm...

Humility, to just "be", understanding, unconditional love, that I have been chosen by the Cats to be their Human, compassion, that I am worthy of their love. One cannot TELL a Cat what to do. One can request, but, the decision is still entirely up to the Cat. And, the Cat will always decide to do what is in it's best interests. Also, a sense of detachment. Cats will do something because they want to do something, not because it is expected of them. Cats are of themselves. But, at the same time, one is extremely remiss if one does not do the best for their Cat, as the Cat deserves the best that one can afford. The best food, the best healthcare. Remember, the Cat has chosen to be with us humans.

Dogs are, sorry to say, needy. They need to be needed. Ewww. Rolling Eyes

I can always tell what a person is like by the companion animal that chooses them. [And, horse-people are another breed of Human entirely. And, then there are those of us who like Cats, and Horses, and know that Dogs are necessary for security (and rounding up sheep etc). But, I digress] Cool

SolarFeline · Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:33 pm Post subject:

Mr. GreenTea · Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:45 pm Post subject: Re: Where do pets come from?

SolarFeline · Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:40 pm Post subject: Re: Where do pets come from?

Dreamweaver · Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:03 pm Post subject:

Oh he was just posting an opinion based on experience,
No harm really!

elroy · Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:07 am Post subject:

Looking at those stories, I'd follow his blog with my news reader. They make my day.

Aren't any of you fellas on twitter?
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Just as the highest and the lowest notes are equally inaudible, so perhaps, is the greatest sense and the greatest nonsense equally unintelligible.

zodiac5 · Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:04 am Post subject: