Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: KDR?
Two days ago, I experienced something that felt like an attack. When this happened, it triggered what I can only describe as “memories” that I was previously unaware of.
It felt like a previous life, of a time that I was someone that I probably wouldn’t like to know. It felt as if I engaged in very violent ethereal battles with people, and was “removed” from my reality – much like the justice system would remove a violent criminal from society. This new reality was a place where I was caught up with the things I hated so much, and the things I feared most. Nothing else existed.
I was chasing the thing I hated, constantly attacking it and trying to catch up with it, but it was always just out of reach. At the same time, I was fleeing from the pure horror of the fear that was chasing me, always on my heels. I could never get away from it.
That was all that existed in that reality.
This continued for a VERY long time. It felt like thousands of years, like eternity. It was horrible. It was hell.
At some stage I made a choice. I decided to let the thing I hated go. Not to chase it anymore. At the same time I decided to stop running away from the thing I feared, and to face it. I couldn’t stand that state of being anymore; I was tired, completely drained.
Suddenly, the thing I hated and the thing I feared both disappeared. I saw that my normal reality was there the whole time, it was just blurred. I discovered I was alone, the fear and the hate were never there.
In metaphor: I was dog, and I was chasing my own tail! The thing I hated, that I saw in front of me the whole time, whose tail I was biting at, but could never catch, was my own tail. The thing I feared, that was always pursuing me, always biting at my tail, which I could never get away from, was me – snapping at my own tail.
I couldn’t see the rest of the world; it was all a blur, because I was spinning so fast!
I could see the sense of it all. I was committing a “crime”. I got “removed” from “society”, to protect people. I was kept in my “prison” by my own actions. The only way to escape was to stop committing my “crime”. I was administering my own punishment, so to speak, rehabilitating myself.
To me, it is a beautifully elegant process, albeit extremely horrible to experience....
The “attack” I experienced, was an attempt to trick me into this kind of “prison”. I say it was an attack, because it felt “artificial”. I saw through it immediately, and recognised the pattern even before it really got started, unlike in the “memories”. The way it was orchestrated, had a sense of irony to it – the type of thing that would satisfy an ego, if it pulled it off. That’s what gave it away. It didn’t have the raw power of the memory either.
I honestly think a human “operator” tried to trick me into redoing my worst (past) deeds to myself, in a way that would be infinitely satisfying to his ego, had he succeeded.
The thing that bothers me though, is that I don’t engage in any type of “energy war”. I don’t mess with people, because I know such a war destroys both parties in the end. I can’t understand why anyone would attempt an attack like this on me!
I am also quite convinced that this episode wasn’t part of my “growing” process, i.e. something I would term “natural”. I am quite capable of sensing future changes in my life beforehand, and I am familiar with the “feel” of my growing process.
This felt alien, artificial. It had no finesse; felt like the energy behind it was unrefined and inept.
This episode made me go into “search” mode, and I spent quite a bit of time over the last day to try and figure this out.
In a typically wonderful serendipity, I came across a post by Mr. Greentea in a separate thread, (On the first page of the thread "death by radionics", under Radionics FAQ) where he refers to a KDR, a form of “attack”. Could this have been what it was? Opinions? Anyone?
Also: Has anyone ever heard (or experienced – my sympathy if you have) of an experience like the one I outlined above?
Being the odd bloke that I am, I obviously now believe I used to be evil incarnate, condemned to an inter-dimensional prison of sheer hell, miraculously cured of my evil by my own noble choices, reincarnated in my current angel-like form to save the world with my superpowers......
I've read of others that have had similar experiences and at this time in earth history many people are "clearing" old memories of past lives, sometimes in the waking state, but most of the time in the dream state.
Clearing intensely negative experiences in the dream state is safer since your guides, angels and higher-self can move you through it without you remembering anything, which in turn allows you to continue on in life without any huge disturbances. Most people, if they could remember everything would be too traumatized, and they would not be able to function in normal life. But some people do remember some of what they did so don't let it get to you... just hang in there and bear with it.
Also, this process of clearing has never been this extensive, it's like at this time in earth history, prior to 2012, many are clearing most if not ALL of their past lives in this life, which is a very rare event. Also, we knew this was going to happen before we incarnated, so it's not like it's being thrust upon us, we knew it would happen eventually and also knew it would be unpleasant, BUT would be very beneficial from our Soul's point of view.
So hang in there, and keep on clearing as much as you can, and try not to let it disturb you too much, no matter how much you remember about these past negative lives. All souls go through this at one time or another.... look at yourself as being lucky or being given a great gift, for in a way, that's exactly what it is.
To smooth things out for you, I would look into way's to try and get in closer contact with your HS, angel's, personal spirit guides... etc, in order to get some feedback on this whole process.
PH _________________ If you are feeling a shortage of time or money, your best effort would be to focus upon better-feeling thoughts, and do more things that make you feel good. ~ Abraham
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