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chandan486 · Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:06 pm Post subject: Unconditional Love !!!

hello guys ,

managed to read some of Stephane's article @ IdeaGasms.com.There he talks about the "POOR ME" and the "ALOOF" types of girls , both categories which my EX qualified into !

however he mentions

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - MANIPULATION = HAPPY !

so he says , either try to help them or say ure busy ! but dont get caught into the manpulation and just give them lots of unconditional love . Now I dont understand , how would you give a girl unconditional love and @ the same time try to help her , without getting caught into the emotional manipulation ? becuase it would require some involvement on our part too !

how to be happy ? help them and not loose out our YANG energy in the process . ? Can somebody on this forum please clarify this for me ?

Thanks a lot ,
chandan !

chandan486 · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 5:20 am Post subject:

73 views and not a single soul knows what to post . ???? Shocked

PleiadianHealer · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 6:17 am Post subject:

The question you ask would take a whole book or more of explaining to answer!!

And even then, you would still have tons of questions... on top of more questions.

To give you a quick answer, that might shed some light on this.....

Unconditional love comes from much inner wisdom.... tap into this inner Source... and you'll have your answer.

PH

chandan486 · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:54 am Post subject:

thanks a lot for this bit of info atleast Smile

PrezBush · Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:36 am Post subject:

unconditional love is all about loving with the eyes closed and the heart open.

Craig · Reputation: 0 Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 14 Not Posted

Stephane talks about those 4/5 control types and says that you should avoid them. Thing is, you don't avoid them IF they can own up to it and make a commitment to work on it. If you confront a girl who is DEFINETLY aloof and she refuses to admit it, then you avoid her.

As for not getting caught in the manipulation game, you have to be able to detect each and every time she is trying to manipulate you, and it's a lot more subtle than most guys think. It comes down to not accepting ANY fear-based reality at all, ever. If she tells you that she won't do something because she is afraid for reasons x, y and z, that is unacceptable and she is gaming you.

If she is giving ANY excuse as to why she is depriving or depricating herself, that is UNACCEPTABLE and it needs to be dealt with immediately, or else she is gaining power over you. Stephane calls it "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" and SO many guys fall for it.

You confront her about these fear-based realities, and then you watch to see if she can handle it. If she can handle it, she can stay. If she can't handle it, she's gone... until she can admit it.

One more thing, stay emotionally detached and don't take her degrading comments personally, because the behaviour has NOTHING to do with you... provided you aren't being needy or manipulative yourself

chandan486 · Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:40 am Post subject:

Craig · Reputation: 0 Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 14 Not Posted

Well, that comes down to not being judgmental. She will act like a bitch to you for MANY reasons that have nothing to do with you. For example:

1) All of her previous boyfriends were jackasses that used her for sex, and she probably got "Fucked and Dumped" by other guys before, so she has no choice but to assume you are the same.

2) Guys are rewarding women when they are being bitchy. Why not be a bitch if you are reaping the rewards?

So, you understand WHY they are acting that way, and you don't take it personally and realize that it will take time for them to overcome these insecurities. Women's insecurities get in the way of sooo many things, which is the reason why us guys have to put with so much abuse.

TomSKinney · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:25 am Post subject:

This thread always reminds me of the book "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. Even the terms "poor me" and "aloof" as styles of manipulation are the same.

elroy · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:35 am Post subject:

Craig · Reputation: 0 Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 14 Not Posted

I was simply stating facts, not looking for advice, Elroy

dragoneye · Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject:

Elroy tends to don a guru hat each time he answers. Helpful guy.
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