Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject: Dispelling the Badboy myth
Looking around on all these alpha seduction sites and products .. the recurring theme is about taking on alpha male and badboy characteristics, and the whole "nice guys finish last" philosophy. This may be very true in a lot of cases, and I was all for that way of thinking myself. But now I think that taking on these kind of characteristics as advised by these kind of badboys and seduction gurus may not always be necessary. Nor is using persuasion tactics to hypnotize girls into having sex with you, nor do you need to get some big rad machine to infuse you with chi or manifest your desires.
Sometimes a change of perceptions and attitudes is necessary. I'm not speaking for everyone, but I speak on behalf of nice guys who want to meet the right decent kind of woman, rather than just sex with trashy girls. This may sound very "beta" to the Alpha advocates, and so be it, but the methods and theme that seem to recur throughout these courses and teachings will not apply to every guy, especially some nice guy who attempts to act like a badboy.
What I will say however, is that I definitely agree that having some kind of subtle characteristics and poise is important with women, (observe Brad Pitt in fight club and you'll I mean). But another major element is to find our PASSION in life, and to start taking on activities other than seduction and dating. Doing this will naturally increase social skills, and you will naturally attract the right women, as of you are living your passion, you send out a different kind of energy to the universe to what you were projecting differently. I'm not saying that certain tools are redundant ... I've used Xtrememind, self hypnosis and Cosmic Master audio to boost confidence, and to break down comfort zomes and resistance to change ... working with my subconscious for greater social aptitude to unfold ... yet even all this is redundant unless you find your niche and go with it. Then you won't need rad boxes and hypnotic persuasion tactics ... you naturally attract what is rightfully yours.
Well said, when women say they want a nice guy what the mean is someone to take the lead and someone who has something else going on with his life as well besides her as you said. I think the main charactersitcs that attract girls to badboys are their body language and fearless attitude to rejection and don't give a f**k attitude.
So yes you can be nice and get girls but be exctiting as well, this is done with finding your passion as you said. Dont be a wuss, dont be at her beckoning call every minute of the day, dont do everything she wants at a drop of a hat, you can compromise.
Ive also used louds of different audios as you but the best results ive had is taking action which is feeling the fear and doing it anyway, a lot of people i now including myself listen to these audios and dont take any steps forward in the phisical world, but iv'e had best results when ive done them both.
ok thats enough of my ranting, all of you are most probably advanced puas here and have heard it all before. Just needed to get some stress out
As a man, you need to be decisive and make decisions.
Become comfortable with being in charge and in command.
If you want to go to the beach that Sunday, tell your woman, “Let’s go to the beach… and have a barbecue! Quick, get ready.”
If she asks you which pair of shoes looks better for the evening, tell her. Have an opinion. Don’t just say to her, “I don’t know… whatever you like better.”
Women often want to just relax knowing that you have taken care of everything. Being decisive means taking the lead and surprising your woman.
On the other hand, if you’re unable to be decisive and take charge, your woman will feel your weakness and take charge for you. She will start telling YOU what to do, nag you, and try to micromanage you.
Taking charge and being decisive however doesn’t mean taking domineering control over your woman however. Taking charge doesn’t mean micromanaging her activities, telling her what to wear all the time, or telling her who she’s allowed to see. It doesn’t mean playing dictator.
You want to be dominant, but not domineering. You want to be strong, and yet sweet.
Nor do you need to create a woman who is subservient. In fact, your woman should not hesitate to offer you her advice based on her experience and feelings.
So do I mean exactly by “take control”?
…taking control does NOT mean being macho.
…taking control does NOT mean belting or popping a woman one when she gets out of line.
…taking control does NOT mean emotionally abusing a woman.
…taking control does NOT mean putting a woman down.
…taking control does NOT mean losing your temper, screaming, or yelling.
And never to become brutal or violent physically or verbally with your woman. Creating a Fascist atmosphere with domineering behavior is interpreted by your woman as a form of weakness, and she’ll come to despise you for it. She will lose all respect for you, and rightfully so, because it’s cruel behavior.
A domineering man is unsure of himself- a domineering man is insecure- a domineering man is not the romantic hero women dream of but a thug who resorts to violence for control because he lacks control from the power of his natural charisma.
So while you rightfully want to avoid the, “I’m a desperate super-nice guy, I-have-to-kiss-her-ass-so-that-hopefully-she-likes-me” behavior, this doesn’t mean you want to make the mistake of being domineering either.
Always demonstrate that you are gentle, sensitive, loving, and caring. Many men make the mistake of believing that being nice means being a pushover. It’s not. You still want to nice and loving to your woman, just not in a placating way, but from the position of taking command and being a man of action.
So you have to take control over the situation without losing control over yourself. You want to be able to be in control of any situation without resorting to any sort of domineering behavior. Being in control and being decisive simply means that you are a man of action, that you have direction, and are comfortable taking control when the moment arises. _________________ The Store of God
MyWeapons: RAD5, RAD2400, RAD200, URADX,URADX2,PsychoTronic Pro, Nova, Shiva, LPOG 2400. Anyone messes with me....
Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 4:43 pm Post subject: How to be a good guy and still get success with women
It's possible. I think I do it. I get girls but don't treat them badly or even put on an alpha badboy character. You don't have to be "the jerk that women love" even though it sometimes seems like you do.
It is more about the traits that a lot of nice guys have that are unattractive rather than the traits a badboy has that are attractive!
A nice guy is approval seeking, he has the lower status in the relationship with the woman, she has most of the decision making power, he will give up pretty much anything to spend time with her, he gives more to the relationship than she does.
This becomes too easy for the woman, is no kind of challenge, and so becomes boring.
The elements of the badboy character that should be adopted are:
Being slightly unpredictable and difficult to pin down.
Being honest when there are things you don't like about her.
Not changing yourself just for her sake.
Having your own life and passions other than her.
Being high status in the relationships - leading and making the decisions.
exactely the stuff i took from the alpha male theory. i left the cocky/funny mentality behind, it just doesnt suit me. _________________ Good vibrations.
Mon May 21, 2007 10:02 pm: Tim is het levende bewijs dat de jeugd deugd:-)
First, I'm going to ask you to consider something, then I'm going to give you some homework.
This week is all about ACTION!
Here's the thing I want you to consider first:
I was reading an article on AOL titled "What's Wrong With Nice Guys?"... here's a little quote from the article:
"...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones? This notion sounds an awful lot like the irritating good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue to make. Still, it does contain a nugget of sense. Since women truly are conditioned to be "good girls," sometimes we feel uncomfortable with or guilty about that pure burning "I must have him!" feeling. That's why we sometimes seek out a bad boy to serve as the object of these desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek, creator of the Health Journeys series of guided imagery tapes. "In order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses, worry-free," she says...."
Interesting, isn't it?
Now, I personally disagree with the idea that women "seek out" Bad Boys because they need somewhere to "project their guilty lust"... and I disagree with the idea that there's something "wrong" with the fact that women are attracted to Bad Boys...
But the point is that the "mainstream" psychology and behavior world is starting to accept the idea that women are ATTRACTED to "Bad Boys".
It will probably be another ten years before anyone with a degree puts two and two together and says, "Hey, maybe women feel ATTRACTION towards Bad Boys for natural, evolutionary reasons, and that's why Bad Boys are considered "sexy"..."
Hell, maybe I should say it... Oh wait, I already did...
Point is, there's something to the idea that woman don't feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for "nice" guys who chase after them and kiss up to them.
Women do, on the other hand, feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for BAD BOYS.
Of course, I don't believe that you MUST be a jerk, or abuse women in order to make them feel attracted to you. There's a much better way...
OK...now for THE HOMEWORK...
Here's what I want you to do...
If you own my eBook "Double Your Dating", go to chapter 4, and read it again.
If you own my Advanced Series, I'd like you to go to Day 2, Section 1, and review again. (If you don't own these yet, then you need to get them immediately! You're cheating yourself if you don't invest in YOURSELF in this area... really.)
Now, I want you to do something CONSCIOUSLY this week.
I want you to do the following with the next 5 women that you talk to over the next few days... (these should be women that you would be interested in dating):
1) Smile all the time.
2) Be very nice, cordial, and friendly. Use no sarcasm, and don't tease.
3) Act as if you really "like" the woman you're talking to... and as if you're "interested" in her.
4) Give her lots of compliments.
5) Optional: Politely say, "You probably have a boyfriend, right? Can I take you out sometime?"
Pay careful attention, and notice how the women respond to you.
Now, I want you to try something different with the NEXT 5 women you talk to...
1) Don't smile very often.
2) Pretend that you've known her for 20 years, and that you're TOO comfortable around her. Tease her for something that no one teases her about... like the way she dresses, etc.
3) Pretend that she's interested in YOU, and has been pursuing YOU, and that you're resisting her. Make jokes about it and say things like, "I just don't think things are going to work out between us".
4) Give her NO compliments of any kind. If she gives you any say, "That's a cheesy pick up line. Can't you think of something more original?"
5) Optional: Say, "Hey, do you have email? Good. Write it down here..."
...and pay attention to the difference.
If you really "play it up", you'll notice a HUGE difference between the first five women you talk to and the next five.
During the first set of five, when you're being a "Nice Wuss", you'll see the looks on the women's faces that say, "Oh no. Another guy who "likes" me. How can I get rid of him politely?..."
During the SECOND set of five, you'll see the women opening their mouths with the "half smile, half oh-no-you-didn't-just-say-that" look. You'll feel a TENSION in the air. You'll notice that some of the women will actually look at you as if they can't believe what they're hearing.
If you're particularly sharp and funny, you might just have one or two of them say, "I like you... we have to hang out sometime" within the first few minutes of the conversation. By the way, you will NEVER hear that when you're playing the "Nice Wuss".
(SIDE NOTE: I once went out with some friends and while taking pictures of them, I overheard this girl talking to her friend. I took what she and her friend were talking about and I teased her about it... And within no more than 60 seconds the girl was saying, "Ohmygod, I like you! We need to hang out sometime..." - Really.)
Do your homework! And have FUN while you're at it.
Alright now. If you haven't downloaded your copy of my eBook, and ordered your ZERO RISK copy of my Advanced Series, then get to it...
You'll learn more in a few hours of studying my materials than most guys will learn in their whole LIVES about how to attract women.
Both come with an "offer you can't refuse" and I'm serious...
You can try them at ZERO cost... nothing.
If you're not thrilled and you don't meet more women, you don't have to pay a dime.
I've been thinking about all these seduction stuff on the net and out of it, and came with some ideas.
Well, I believe that what these gurus name "bad boys" are actually aggressive men. I mean, the abusive ones are very agressive and will even beat the women to achieve what they want. And the confident men use the aggressivity to something positive, to motivate them to achieve their goals.
So what the gurus says about a "nice guy" is actually a very passive guy. Someone that have no perspective, no will to achieve any goal and a very submissive person.
And I've read in several places that women finds some physical traits in men very attractive, and these traits are always related to high testosterone levels. And testosterone, by the way, in great quantity makes the men more aggressive.
So in few words: Bad boy = high testosterone.
Nice guy = low to no testosterone.
Just watch the habits of thes two types. The bad boy is always active, competitive, submiting himself to tensions be it with women or agains other men. The Nice guy is alway quietly watching, with fear of situation where there is tension, afraid to take a chance.
What I mean with this is not to start using steroids to raise your testosterone level (since too much testo can kill neurons), but to assume a lifestyle where you are always doing things that pumps testosterone. Start training at any sport, enjoy the tension, speak up and start enjoying the roller coaster of life.
I don't know if anyone agree with me, but this is what I believe and what works for me. It may work or not for you, but at least I won't create a website and start selling ebooks about what works for me. _________________ "I find your lack of faith disturbing"
Some formulas that always worked for me
1) Be mysterious
2) Be funny
3) Be unavailable
4) Be sensitive but keep her disoriented
5) Be unpredictable
6) Be spontaneous _________________ Just as the highest and the lowest notes are equally inaudible, so perhaps, is the greatest sense and the greatest nonsense equally unintelligible.
Very true what Chuck said, about the testosterone levels in a man. Rather than having to adopt some kind of fake badboy persona, as long as your testosterone levels are high and you have a fun and unpredictable nature, then you can still be a kind of "nice guy" and have women attracted to you.
I mentioned in another thread about weight training and physical exercise, and I think if most guys would just maintain their health, then you've won most of the battle and there will be no need for all these radionics and hypnotic persuasion techniques just to attract women. Neglect of exercise can cause the body to produce more estrogen (female hormone) than testosterone, and that can cause low sex drive and staying power, lack of focus and confidence, and loss of muscle as flab builds up - I went through this at one time, but now I'm bck in business.
Also it's not so much about being a jerk than providing enough emotional stimulation in a woman, and to sometimes play very harmless and humerous mind games ... and when I say mind games, I don't mean any evil manipulation ... I'll give an an example: I'm in work and chatting to a mate of mine sat next to me, and sat across from us is a girl just minding her own business. I abruptly break the conversation and call the girl's name:
She says: "Yeah?"
I say: "Shut it."
With a bewildered look, she's says something like: "But I didn't-"
I interrupt saying: "I don't want to hear it!"
She says: "What? but-"
I go: "ZIP IT!" making a zipping motion across my mouth, then immediately resume the conversation with my friend like nothing had happened and completely ignoring her.
That left her confused, yet at the same time very amused. Can't guarantee that will work for everyone ... I was already on a talking basis with this girl anyway, but just an example of cocky and funny without being a prick. _________________ "The thick-faced person has the ability to set aside self doubt. In his own eyes, he is perfect". - Chi-Ning Chu
I go: "ZIP IT!" making a zipping motion across my mouth, then immediately resume the conversation with my friend like nothing had happened and completely ignoring her.
If I did this, my Filipina girlfriend would dump me in 20 seconds. _________________ PhotoBuffs UNITE! And get your cheap Cam stuff here:
Brits have a very different sense of humour, and she knew deep down I was just playing about. _________________ "The thick-faced person has the ability to set aside self doubt. In his own eyes, he is perfect". - Chi-Ning Chu
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