Self Approval: Clearing The Path For Success

You can’t and be perky, successful, and at peace unless you have a sincere t look at yourself first. You should take note of all of the blockages so that you can get to work on your life.

Observe the 4 ways in which to start:

1. Get to know what other people like about you. Ask someone close to you to tell you honestly how he or she views you. Have that person rate you and your specific traits on a scale of one to five. Do people describe you as your own worst enemy? If they do, you need to work on your self-knowledge to understand Read the rest of this entry »

There is one critical set of strategies required to speed you on your way to the achievement of your objectives and goals and hence the acquisition of your dreams: your Daily Activities Lists. The activities list is your prioritized itinerary. Line by line it illustrates what you intend to achieve during the current day and up to the end of the month.

Consider that there is no limit to the laundry list of activities which you can choose to delegate your time. Therefore, there will rarely be a day during your life when you feel “tied up.” Think back. Can you ever recall a day when you felt that you had accomplished all the things you needed to do and would like to have done? I definitely cannot remember one. However, what’s key is not that everything gets done during a chosen day, but that the activities that are most vital to the achievement of your dreams have been concluded on a schedule set by you. To feel good about how you utilize time does not require being hectic every moment, or regularly playing “catch-up.” Positive feelings and the mental rewards coupled with real accomplishments are fashioned through effectiveness, since only effectiveness creates results. Read the rest of this entry »

Discover the Magic of Positive Focusing

There is a fallacy that to hit our goal we ought to “think positive” all the time. No, we need not “think positive” 24/7. We don’t even have to imagine positively all the time. To triumph - to fulfill our personal quests - all we have to do is keep focused on our aspirations and keep moving to it.

Let’s say person X, person Y and person Z all set out for the same objective. They commence at the same place simultaneously. Person X is a positive thinker, person Y is a positive focuser, person Z is both a positive thinker and a positive, rabid focuser.

At the “Go,” person X decides to sit down and do a little positive thinking to help prepare for the journey. Person Y focuses on the goal and gets moving. Person Z gets moving, too.

Person X observes an area of unpositiveness within, and continues to sit, working hard to remove the “darkness” before initiating on the journey. Person Y does not like the road, hates the rules, dislikes the weather, abhors the planned lunch, etc., but keeps chugging toward the goal nonetheless. Person Z keeps fighting, too, while relishing the flowers, waving at travellers, singing, and thinking what good exercise all this movement is. Read the rest of this entry »

It is not unusual to be afraid of learning more about your relationship and your partner. “What if I discover we are incompatible?” “What if I find out she doesn’t love me?” “What if I find out we are actually separate individuals with separate needs and desires?” Many men and women don’t want to peer too closely at the person they live with. This may be the safe path, but it is also deadly. The nature of relationship, the nature of humans, is to want homeostasis, routine, stale comfort as in, “Let’s make sure everything stays the same forever.” Change is scary, even traumatic, but it is inevitable. Change is the reality of life.

Don’t be surprised if at the beginning of nurturing your relationship, resentments surface. A familiar pattern: you start doing sweet things for each other, and suddenly a few days later you have a fight about how she never initiates sex or he never buys thoughtful gifts. This fight may seem to come out of nowhere, but it hasn’t. When we begin to nurture each other, we touch on unmet needs. An angry voice rises up and says, “This feels good. Why hasn’t he done this for me before?” Or, instead of resentment, our internal voice might say, “This feels too good. I can’t handle it,” and we pick a fight to distance ourselves because we are afraid this good stuff will be cut off.
Read the rest of this entry »

Couples who have been together for an extended period of time often drift apart sexually. There are of course many different reasons why this is so, but there is one in particular that is very common and can be changed for the better, and that reason is that they do not “change things up”. Having one sexual routine that you and your partner use over and over again often causes couples to drift into sexual apathy. Are you experiencing the same issue within your sexual life? Do you and your partner drift into the same sexual position each time, with a boring feeling throughout the entire sexual experience?

Today, there is hardly a couple out there who do not know about most of the alternative positions to the standard “missionary” position. The missionary position is where the women is lying on your back while the man is on top of her. And even though most couples are aware of other more exciting sexual positions, most still play out the same old routine, repeatedly, and then complain that their sex life is getting stale. Read the rest of this entry »

Among couples that come in to counseling with relationship problems, the most common complaint about intimacy is: “We’re just too busy for sex.” This is especially true when the husband and wife are both working full time jobs. Add to that schedule a family of children to take care of, and it is quite understandable that their lives are very busy to include regular intimacy. But is a busy schedule the real reasons why these couples are lacking intimacy?

In dealing with couples for years now, I have talked with hundreds of men and women who will spend everyday planning their dinner or their wardrobe, get in their television shows each night, get to the gym three times per week, etc. but thinking nothing of putting a priority on planning and engaging intimacy with their partners. In terms of priorities, sex seems to usually come last, far behind all of the above typical schedule. These couples have literally schedule intimacy right out of their lives. Are you one of them? Read the rest of this entry »

In the real world, most men do not do housework. While studies from the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan confirm that this generation of couples do half the amount of housework their parents did, most of those chores are still shouldered by women. Is there a way to prevent everyday skirmishes over home-front responsibilities from escalating into full-scale wars, and still get him to put the dishes in the dishwasher? Let’s look at both sides of the problem:

Her Side: “I’m tired of doing all of it all the time.” “It’s the psychic energy that is so draining. I have to be responsible for things even if I’m not in charge of them!” “How come he can fix a car engine but can’t figure out how to put the toilet paper on the roll?”

His Side: “When I do the grocery shopping, she says I buy the wrong tomato sauces, and then yells at me,” “She’ll find one spot of food on the pot and yell, ‘Is this what you call clean?’” “The fact is that I can’t remember to put my socks in the hamper is not a personal attack against her. I just…. forget.” Read the rest of this entry »

Despite the fact that there are many couples who have been married for ten, twenty, or even thirty or more years, some never get around to developing a tolerance for each other’s differences. They have made the mistake of thinking that, just because two people fall in love and get married, each of them should act and think like each other. In time they forget about the differences that attracted them to each other in the first place, and only seem to be getting offended by each other.

In any type of relationship where two people are closely bonded, differences in opinions and priorities are bound to develop. It is also inevitable that each individual within the relationship handles anxiety and stress different as well. At first these difference do not create a problem, but as the relationship progresses, the lack of understanding one another can lead to some very series complications.

If you and your partner are having the same type of issues, then break the cycle by keeping the following points in mind: Read the rest of this entry »

If you and your loving partner are having difficulties within the relationship then there is no doubt that fighting and arguing has occurred, and probably on more than several occasions. Sometimes a relationship gets to the point of constant arguing with both members but if your goal is to make things better, then you must learn to be strong if your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse bursts into anger over a situation.

Below are five ideas to help you to remain strong when your partner loses control with his or her anger. Simply find out which ones will work for you.

1. Be understanding by learning to really listen to your partner’s anger. I know it is not easy to do this when you are being bombarded with a catapult of insults and accusations, because most of us react too quickly with angry accusations of our own. This is especially true when our own “hot buttons” are pushed and we are faced with harsh words of the past or old issues are brought up. Just try to ignore your own reactive nature by trying to listen more to your partner. Read the rest of this entry »

Getting involved in a relationship and remaining true to yourself, your beliefs, and your individuality is very important. But how come few people actually have “themselves” ready before jumping into every relationship bandwagon that comes along?

To help you better understand what it takes before getting involved with someone, we have five ways in which you can tell if you are ready or not.

Autonomy: You must be enough of a separate individual to be able to risk giving up the relationship rather than lose your identity while in it. This will make it much less likely that the relationship will ever end. If you trust enough and you are separate enough, you will be able to tolerate being apart from your beloved without punishing him or her before and/or during and/or after their return from a being away, on a business trip for example. Read the rest of this entry »