”So- what could be a figure that your firm contributes to charity”

“I’d say a million dollars or two”

“Would a big percentage of it be to the AIDS fund (I read your pamphlets) or assorted causes?”

“Both.”

“What amount channels into the AIDS fund then?”

“Hmmm… maybe $600,000 or $700,000. That’s our yearly target”

“So you met that goal. The 700K?”

“Yes. We always meet our goals”

“That makes your firm unique. Few companies hit their mandated targets. It’s mostly PR yarn for the papers”

“Well, we did.”

“Did you actually direct the disbursement of charity to the AIDS Fund”

“I served on the company’s board for the AIDS Fund three years ago”

“So that means you have no inkling as to how much was really sent?”

“I hear figures.”

“So exactly how much is sent to AIDS Fund?”

“I think it’s 700K like I mentioned”

“You’re certain? I can quote you on this”

“Not until I look at the spreadsheets.”

“What about other funds, do you know the real dollar figures going there?”

“Ahh.. um…”

When people bluff, they often throw easy to remember numbers or simplistic facts. You can see it instantly. It’s like a child’s coloring book with single,  bold colors that lack varying hues. The truth is rarely that. It’s a Van Gogh painting of complexities. And when you begin dissecting, you see stuff underneath. Mutually supportive stuff.

It’s easy to destroy a bluff. You don’t want to be caught in one, so dazzle people with your honesty: tell them you don’t know. They’ll appreciate you for it.

Want to believe in yourself?

The truly powerful person:

1) Knows that he is his own person and an ultimate authority upon himself for his opinions.

2) Never compares himself with others.

3) Listens to suggestions but never blindly subjugates himself to other’s opinions.

4) Has faith in his instincts and listens to his emotions.

5) Recognizes in the inevitability of mistakes and learns from them.

6) Values R&R to recharge and evolve.

7) Depends on his judgement, but enhances them with creative external input.

Are you powerful?

A post hypnotic suggestion is a directive that incites  action when a specific behavior, or trigger, is activated. The actual post hypnotic suggestion is of something that will take place in the future regardless of whether or not the hypnotist is present.

The first step in placing a post hypnotic suggestion is to induce a trance. As you induce this trance you will want to concentrate on giving the unconscious many different options about how to do things. You will also want to include things that will motivate the listener to respond to the new behavior. Another thing you will want to incorporate in the trance stage is to use techniques to get the right state for what you are attempting to accomplish.

After you induce a trance you are going to suggest a behavior. This is the second step in the post hypnotic suggestion process. Suggesting a behavior can be a very direct thing or you can do it more covertly. You will plant ideas about the behaviors you are suggesting to your listener. While you are planting these ideas you will more than likely do it through stories either about yourself or others. As you get more into the depth of the ideas and behaviors you will slowly present them as things your listener should consider doing.

Suggesting behaviors is often done well when you use open-ended questions or statements. As you use an open-ended question or statement it leaves room for the person to imply certain things as well as fill in the blanks, often more fully than they would if it were not an open ended question or statement.

Another helpful skill in using the behavior suggestion is to tell them when something will happen, not if it will happen. You want the listener to simply assume from your language that it is inevitable that the behavior will happen and therefore the only question left is when. When you do this you are also going to be bypassing some resistance because you are implying a thing.

Another step in the post hypnotic suggestion process is to build up the listeners self esteem. This is a little bonus for both you and the subject. By building up and working on their self-esteem they will correlate the suggestion and behaviors with words that make them feel good about themselves. People are more apt to do a thing if they believe it will make them better, stronger, smarter or what have you. You do things to improve yourself.

The other reason to do this is just because it is a nice thing to do for the person you are helping, like a little icing on the cake. This icing keeps the unconscious coming back for more cake; it makes listening to you a more rewarding experience.

Kevin Forrester

First, take note of your eyes. Are they downcast? If you avoid people’s gaze, there’s a one hundred percent chance you will be ignored.  To take respect, you should emanate command from your eyes. Engage eye contact with everyone you meet and you instantly raise your respectability 100%

Second, rear up. I noticed that folks who are too tall like to bend over, as if ashamed of their height. That’s a poor practice. Do generals bend? Do presidents cower? Learn from them. If you’re short, just tuck out your chin. People will feel that you’re one who shouldn’t be messed with.

Finally perk up your mood. A happy enthusiastic guy commands respect, attention and warmth. Even if you don’t feel like it, smile and greet people jovially. You’ll be the life of the party and take the much desired respect you seek.

Fly high!

The answer’s simple. It’s in your gut.

Something’s definitely wrong when your gut wrenches. This indicates that you feel you’re being manipulated, twisted or given the short end of the stick. Most fail to listen to this inner intuition. They say yes right away, while their stomach screams nooooo!

Trust your instincts next time. Next time you feel bad about something, pause. Evaluate your response before aceding. It’s the first step to truly asserting yourself.

So how do you agree in order to win? Simply find some small aspect in their angry statement and agree with it. It’s like Judo- you take the wind out of their sails! So, let’s see an example.

They: “You’re late again, you don’t love me”

You: “I agree, being late upset you. Now it doesn’t mean I don’t love you… it means that I exerted a lot of effort picking up flowers on the way to please you.”

See… how does that sound? Now go out there and fight your battles the right way.

The secret’s really simple. Next time a pile of work piles and you’re tempted to delay, simply stop. Then ask yourself:

“If I delay this today, am I being kind to myself tomorrow? Will tomorrow’s Me be mad at today’s Me for leaving an even larger pile of hell tomorrow?”

Analyzed from this viewpoint,  you may suddenly realize that there’s no payoff for delaying the inevitable. Might as well be done with it.

Do you have a pile of stuff gathering dust on your desk?

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You.

It works well… most of the time.

The problem arises when others wouldn’t want to be treated the way you do.

Let’s say you loved to eat only vegetables. So you decide to treat your meat loving spouse the same way- by force feeding him vegetables. Think that would work great? Of course not. Here, the Golden Rule obviously fails.

Doing unto others the way you want done unto you works only if you have the same likes and dislikes. If you’re different… the Rule causes discord.

Let me amend the rule then. Let’s call it the Platinum Rule:

Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves.

Now isn’t that better? Can you think of a way that could ever go wrong?

Have you ever:

Been stuck in a negotiation or argument and not been able to find common areas of agreement?
Needed to quickly and easily think laterally?
Felt overwhelmed with an activity?
Wanted to get something done, but did not feel excited about it?
Chunking can help you get past these obstacles.

What is Chunking?

In NLP, ‘chunking up’ refers to moving to more general or abstract pieces of information. While ‘chunking down’ means moving to more specific or detailed information.

To chunk up on a piece of information, use one or more of the following questions:

What is this an example of?
What is this a part of?
What is the intention?
For what purpose?

To illustrate the concept, let us begin with a library building. Examples of chunking up from library building would be:

Buildings (a library building is an example of buildings), or

A city block (the library building forms part of a city block), or
A city’s library system, or
Provides a means for people to undertake research.
If we follow the path of a city block, we can then chunk up to a city, then to a province or state, then to a country, etc.

To chunk down, use one or more of the following questions:

What is an example of this?
What is a component/part of this?
What/who/where specifically?
Examples of chunking down or being more specific on library building are:

A library building in the City of Ottawa, or
A library building built in the 1950’s, or
The third floor of the library building, or
A specific window in the library building, or
A row of books in the library building.
If we follow the path of a row of books, we can continue chunking down (getting more specific) to NLP books, then books written by John Grinder, then a particular chapter, etc.

This simple concept has many varied and useful applications.

How and When Can You Use Chunking?

Meta Model and Milton Model. The Meta Model is an example of chunking down (who, what, where specifically) — you ask your client questions to get more specific details. The Milton Model, which uses vague or abstract language, is an example of chunking up.

Negotiation and Mediation. Chunking up and down is a very useful tool in negotiations or mediation. Far too often in negotiations, we continue to explore solutions at a level of thought at which we do not agree. The key is to chunk up until you and the other person agree and then to chunk back down to the details only as fast as you both maintain agreement. Often in negotiation, we assume that the other person wants what we want and this may not be the case.

Thinking Laterally. We are often encouraged to think laterally. This is not always easy to do. It is if we use chunking. To think laterally, first chunk up, then chunk down. Example, suppose you have to take a package to a particular destination and you do not wish to use your car. To identify alternatives, first chunk up, i.e. what is driving your car an example of? One possible chunk up is a mode of transportation. Now chunking down, you can easy identify many different modes of transportation which are on the same logical level as car i.e., bicycle, horse, train, airplane, walking, etc. And you can select the mode that meets your other needs.

Creating a Passion for Your Outcome. By chunking up and down, you can size your outcomes so that they are doable and you have excitement, motivation and passion for achieving them.

Overcoming Disinterest. Why do we get bored? Often because what we are doing does not excite us. We are mired in the details. If you have an outcome and you are not excited about it, ask yourself the question, “This outcome for what purpose?”, i.e. chunk up. Get a bigger perspective or the big picture. Having an outcome and not knowing the larger purpose can be demotivating.

Addressing Overwhelm. Sometimes we may feel overwhelmed. This can happen if the chunk size is too large. Here we need to chunk down and be more specific or focus more on the details or be more realistic. After all, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

If you feel overwhelmed or do not know where to start when you think of your outcome; chunk down to be more specific and identify manageable tasks.

And NLP is Much more than that!

Guest Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, coach, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies. The above article is based on his book Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You.