So be positive beginning today. Follow what powerful people do to retain their strength:

- Say NO when your gut feel starts screaming.

- Understand your limits and guard it against those who push you to that edge.

- Paradoxically, probe those same limits and see where you can grow by breaking it

- Skirt psychic vampires. The moody and depressed will bring you down. – Mingle in the company of visionaries, upbeat and driven persons. They will bring you up

- Do something new right this moment.

Fly high!

Fortunately asserting oneself is easy because we have a built in mechanism that detects abuse. Heed this mechanism and you’ll never sacrifice your dignity again.

The mechanism is your GUT. Your gut is churns when something is wrong – like when you’ve been shortchanged or given a task beyond your responsibility. It’s a clarion call for you to speak out.

The next time that gut rumbles, don’t think. Act right away. Voice your concern on the spot. Say “I don’t feel good about this because… and I want…..”

This simple behavioral change will transform you from a weakling and into a leader. Then people take notice. You win respect!

Are you ready to live a better life?

If you want a change in lifestyle, you must be prepared to pause… and take that leap of faith. Here’s how you can do it.

Never look back.

When you decide to take a new job, don’t quibble. Quit now and start applying. Want a new relationship? Cease suffering the old one. Get out there and meet new people!  Want more money? Don’t second guess opportunities. Pick one, implement it and proceed.

The decisive take a leap of faith and reach a goal almost always. Those who look back trip their own feet. Others feel your indecision and subsequently treat you with reservation.

There can be no half measures.  Take that leap of faith. Confidence in your abilities empower you to succeed.

You want a lifestyle change? Then just do it now. And Don’t look back.

There’s a way to get things done with a smile.

Our mindset governs the driving force of our action. What do you think when you’re about to accomplish something?

“I have to do this”

“I must accomplish this”

“It’s my job”

“It should be done”

Thinking in terms of  ‘shouds’ and ‘musts’ demotivate us because we feel coerced. It robs us of choice… even if there is choice (otherwise you won’t be doing it). There is, however, an elegant way of re-empowering our decision to toil. It is to think this way:

“I am glad to do this”

A simple mind shift and BAM! You’ll suddenly see rainbows in the sky.

Gotta mop the floor? Think to yourself, “I’m happy to mop this floor!”

Try it.

 ”So- what could be a figure that your firm contributes to charity”

“I’d say a million dollars or two”

“Would a big percentage of it be to the AIDS fund (I read your pamphlets) or assorted causes?”

“Both.”

“What amount channels into the AIDS fund then?”

“Hmmm… maybe $600,000 or $700,000. That’s our yearly target”

“So you met that goal. The 700K?”

“Yes. We always meet our goals”

“That makes your firm unique. Few companies hit their mandated targets. It’s mostly PR yarn for the papers”

“Well, we did.”

“Did you actually direct the disbursement of charity to the AIDS Fund”

“I served on the company’s board for the AIDS Fund three years ago”

“So that means you have no inkling as to how much was really sent?”

“I hear figures.”

“So exactly how much is sent to AIDS Fund?”

“I think it’s 700K like I mentioned”

“You’re certain? I can quote you on this”

“Not until I look at the spreadsheets.”

“What about other funds, do you know the real dollar figures going there?”

“Ahh.. um…”

When people bluff, they often throw easy to remember numbers or simplistic facts. You can see it instantly. It’s like a child’s coloring book with single,  bold colors that lack varying hues. The truth is rarely that. It’s a Van Gogh painting of complexities. And when you begin dissecting, you see stuff underneath. Mutually supportive stuff.

It’s easy to destroy a bluff. You don’t want to be caught in one, so dazzle people with your honesty: tell them you don’t know. They’ll appreciate you for it.

But this isn’t the case. We hide our emotions from the world so well, that we end up hiding our sentiments even from ourselves. Often, I’d talk with a friend or colleague and ask them how they felt. I’d get an honest answer saying, “Uhmm… I don’t really know.”

Wow. People who are out of touch with their true feelings often lagged in self-esteem. I’m sure you’ve notice that. Are you one of them?

I urge you to check your feelings throughout the day. Every hour, take a breather. Ask yourself “How am I feeling right now”. Then discern the reason why.  Often we find that there’s no basis for feeling depressed or anxious. In this case- ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen for xxxxx”. You’ll quickly realize it’s easy to leap into a blazingly constructive frame of mind with this technique.

Take inventory of your feelings. Be true as to the cause. Then make the conscious effort to choose a better frame of mind if it isn’t serving you well.

You’re ready to scream.

Whenever a particular sequence of unfortunate events  conspire to bring you down, how do you cope? I’m sure you’ve gone through hell like this and you’ve been farthest from sentient. Were you rational? Maybe you hit suicidal. Stress eventually leads to volcanic eruption and the poor fella you finally yell at had nothing to do with your day’s misfortunes.

Before you reach the point of no return, try the following tactic to unwind in a second:

• Seek out a quiet, private spot.
• Lock the door.
• Stretch out your mouth really wide and flex your entire body.
• Throw your fists to the heaven and scream- to your heart’s content.
• Relax.
• Rinse and Repeat.

Ah…. didn’t that feel better? Now you’re in control once again.

 You want rapport? Then always mine for similar attitudes, likes, dislikes, cultural backgrounds, virtues, experiences, career objectives, and values. Highlight the commonalities in your conversation and behavior. You’ll create instantaneous attraction even with total strangers!You see, creating similarity, even artificial similarity create hidden cues that the subconscious looks for. When people detect these cues, their minds think “little can go wrong between us- after all, we think the same!” Similarity eliminates risk and perceived danger. It breeds comfort.

The next time you want to create a great impression on a fantastic new stranger, ask her “What’s the story behind that.” Listen. Then say “me too!”

Watch the stars light her eyes.

Take a step back and ponder on all the big stuff that happened to you. Did you notice that some small tweak in your plans often drove it to amazing completion? Or how one small decision brought about earthshaking rewards?

Here’s how to use the rule to save more time and maximize your life’s bottomline:

• Make it a habit of jotting down your top daily priorities. If you find yourself stuck in nonessentials, get back on track!
• Learn to procrastinate on procrastination.
• Cease focusing on your inadequacies- just do what you do best.
• Halt trying to be perfect- you gain more by spending time on a few relaxing and self-indulgent activities (like having a sauna or extra sleep). This revitalizes you to achieve more.
• Forget about worrying… have more fun!
• Live in the present. The future will take care of itself.
• Learn to trust in what you’ve done. Second guessing slows you down.
• Have faith in your intuition- it’s your lifeline to wondrous things beyond your logical mind. This often leads to “eureka moments”

Have you been maximizing your life’s bottomline?

Think of the way you would pamper your baby. First, you would hug her when she were crying. You’d feed her when her tummy growls. You’d encourage her after her attempts to walk fail. You defend her from attacks and criticisms. You’d point out to her that mistakes aren’t to be ashamed of- but to be learned from. You’d spend a whole day just bonding in silence- simplye enjoying the beauty of the skies floating by.

Okay. Now, do you have an idea how to pamper yourself? Pampering need not be costly. Simply treat yourself the same way you treat a baby! Take time out to spend a day just by yourself. Encourage your self to achieve more and comfort yourself when goals aren’t reached. Save them for the next day. Learn to forgive yourself of mistakes. Pick up from the pieces and learn to do things better next time.

Remember: You deserve love and care. And only you can give yourself unconditional affection.