So be positive beginning today. Follow what powerful people do to retain their strength:

- Say NO when your gut feel starts screaming.

- Understand your limits and guard it against those who push you to that edge.

- Paradoxically, probe those same limits and see where you can grow by breaking it

- Skirt psychic vampires. The moody and depressed will bring you down. – Mingle in the company of visionaries, upbeat and driven persons. They will bring you up

- Do something new right this moment.

Fly high!

You might want to begin making Your life magic right now:

• Jot down your daily top priorities and consult this list to ensure you’re dealing with them. Dump the minor tasks (like fixing your tie cabinet) and spend it on valuable activities.
• Rewarding yourself when you accomplish critical tasks. Realize that procrastinating only punishes you: you end up having more to do later!
• Laugh off failure! If you dwell too much on your inadequacies, you make them your chief traits! Instead, think of yourself as the sum of your strengths. You’ll be in a better mood and accomplish more.
• Skip perfection. The more you gripe about the details, the less you marvel at the big picture. Take a step back, get perspective and understand that there’s a limit to what can be accomplished, then reward yourself.
• Quit worrying. And start problem solving. The solution-oriented tend to do things faster and have healthier hearts.
• Act with awareness. This way you don’t have to redo mistakes.
• Quite fussing what people are thinking about you and start spending it on pleasing yourself. Your opinion is most important.
• Dump the past or worrying about the future. Live for the now.
• Most importantly, know that life is amazing- and acting that it already is!

The fastest way to improve your circumstances is to change yourself.  You have been born with the power to do so, use that ability! When life stinks and throws a challenge, you got three choices:

-Dive for cover and look for a scapegoat.

-Become the scapegoat.

-Act creatively.

Looking for and being the scapegoat are the options taken by the victim. You know these people- they play the martyr; the say they don’t deserve it; they refuse responsibility; they always blame others; they avoid rocking the boat. In sum, they skirt risk.

Acting proactively is the choice of Winners- folks who understand they have the power to make a drastic change. This response is not easy. Hell no. It  requires tenacity at times when all things go wrong. But stop and think. What else have YOU to do in life, if not to seize responsibility for yourselves. Your life’s choices are your own. Not jerk you live with. Not the boss who pays your salary.

I saw a slogan outside Nautica at Eastwood the other day. It goes “You can’t change the wind that blows, but you can shift your sails.”

Are you shifting sails?

Here are 5 simple yet effective persuasion tactics you may use everyday to build loyal and lasting relationships through the power of persuasion and influence.

Tactic # 1: You Must Enter Their World.
Copy them. Observe how they act, how they speak, and how they think. If they rub their forehead while they think, act like them. If they speak at a clear and slow pace, try to do the same thing. This is called mirroring. In due time, the people you’re mirroring will subconsciously feel more comfortable with you. It’s as if they see themselves in you. However, you must proceed with caution. Do not let them be aware that you are copying them. They might interpret it as mockery and you’ll just get into trouble.

Tactic # 2: Meet Their Existing Needs and Desires.
People are self-centered. They are initially concerned with their own well-being before others. If you can prove that your proposal will provide more advantageous benefits to them than to your own, then they will probably accept it. If you could focus more on their interests, desires, needs, and expectations, then you would satisfy their cravings for attention. Moreover, it would show that you really care about them. Mutual trust and respect would be established. Satisfy the “What’s In It For Me?” test first, before convincing others to do what you want them to do.

Tactic # 3: Provide Them with Compelling Evidence.
Explain to them how your ideas or suggestions could be the most effective techniques to implement. Show them undeniable proof that you have the best product by way of testimonials, before and after scenarios, and detailed comparisons against your competitors. Just make sure that all your claims are true and verifiable. Always maintain a good reputation. Be friendly and nice. Smile to brighten up the day. Make a sincere compliment to raise their spirits. Little things like these count a lot. Make them feel that whenever they need help or just someone to look up to, you’ll always be there to lend a hand. They would tend to be more receptive to people that they trust.

Tactic # 4: Communicate Wittingly But Clearly.
Most people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. But what if you have to tell something undesirable to your friend, which is just for his or her own good? How can you get your message across without hurting their feelings? Substitute negative statements with positive ones. Instead of saying “You don’t understand,” say “Let me explain.” Instead of remarking “You’re wrong,” say “Permit me to clarify.” Instead of stating “You failed to say,” just mention “Perhaps this was not stated.” There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning.

Tactic # 5: Agree with Them First…
Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first. Say: You’re right, although … Great suggestion, however … I agree with your opinion, however … I would feel the same way if I were you, although … I understand your situation, however … Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

Michael Lee is the author of the highly acclaimed How To Be An Expert Persuader… In 20 Days or Less. It reveals mind-altering persuasion secrets to greatly enhance your relationships, boost your career and business, and persuade anyone to willingly and eagerly do what you want… without them knowing it

“…the changes that matter most, the ones that really make a difference, are the ones that create the habits of a lifetime.” – Dan Baker

Empowering yourself and building confidence is about making adjustments to your current thinking and lifestyle that result in more positive and affirming actions. A great place to start is to implement “10 Delicious Daily Habits.” What are the 10 Delicious Daily Habits? Simply put, they are any ten things that you do on a daily basis that make you feel great. When developing your delicious habits, avoid listing anything that you feel you “should” do. For example, if you hate to exercise, then it’s not a delicious daily habit. However, if you love to exercise, but often let it take a backseat to other chores, then it is a delicious daily habit. Creating these habits is about choosing to make your perfect life a priority. Think about what is important in your life that you want to experience every day. Make a commitment to yourself that you will schedule time for those things.

Are you so rushed in the morning that you never have time for breakfast or journaling, yet your mental picture of your perfect life is you sitting with a cup of tea and a bowl of fruit salad writing a few pages in your journal every morning? Bring that picture to life by having breakfast and journaling two of your delicious daily habits. Then take action to make these habits a reality. Perhaps you can shower the night before to free up morning time for breakfast or get up 15 minutes earlier. Avoid having to watch the clock by setting a kitchen timer for 15 – 20 minutes so you can get lost in your thoughts until the bell lets you know it’s time to go to work. You may decide to start small by choosing just a couple of days in the week for implementing this daily habit. You can build it up to every day over time.

Doing ten wonderful things for yourself every single day, whether practical like getting 8 hours of sleep a night to feel more energetic or purely fun like singing out loud in the shower is a loving way to show yourself that you are your top priority. Once you make a habit out of being a priority in your life in little ways, you will find it so much easier to make yourself a priority in big ways like what you do for a living, who you spend time with, where you live, and all the other things that create your perfect life.

Contributed by Ruth

Many individuals do not recognise that their self-esteem or self-worth needs improving. As long as they have the personal good looks, status and material needs they think that is all that they need for success and no one else is the wiser to what is going on in their inner world! It goes deeper than an outer façade. Self-esteem and self-image is an outer reflection on their inner level of self-love and self-worth. Their level of worth is expressed in their quality of life, within their experiences and what is happening in their reality.

Human self-esteem problems, issues and challenges can be broken down into four primary categories:

1. Recognise and address your issue
2. Acknowledge and respect yourself
3. Stand your ground with assertion and empowerment
4. Release disempowering events, things and people

Let’s take a look at each individual category:

1. Recognise and address your issue. The most important factor for you to be able to raise your self-esteem is for you to uncover the issue that is giving you a low self-worth in the first place. Nobody and nothing outside of you can do it for you. Dressing well and living in a nice environment only addresses a perception of your worth on the outside – it is a façade, if you have imbalances within you, or conflicts with those you live and work with, you are just covering up an unfinished business. Even if you are successful at your work, your life’s experiences, your health and the quality of your relationships will tell you how much self-love, self-worth and self-acceptance you have. Once you realise that you have a low self-worth you must be ready and willing to do something about it.

2. Acknowledge and respect yourself. You need to be aware that you attract to you what you are within. You need to acknowledge yourself, accept yourself, love yourself, honour all of your experiences and choices without regrets and to have compassion for yourself etc. Eg. If you do not respect yourself, you will attract others to you who will treat you in a very disrespectful manner. You were born with 100% worth and that is up to you to claim your worth. A lower self-esteem or worth is due to allowing others to belittle you, to influence you into thinking that you are not ‘good enough’ or you do not deserve to be, do or have something. You have taken on their old truths as your own. You now believe that you are unworthy, it is an old truth and that is how people will treat you. If you feel that you don’t deserve, or are unworthy or you do not love yourself in anyway – it is a truth that you have formed, your masquerade story, which is now your lie. It is only your perception on how you see yourself and therefore how you treat yourself either with belittlement emotionally or physically. How you see and treat yourself is reflected back to you as ‘like attracts like’ scenario in your health, relationships and abundance aspects.

3. Stand your ground with assertion and empowerment. Once you make a conscious choice to raise your self-esteem and self-worth – be alert to sabotage or you will retreat from exploring this empowering journey fully. The level of your self-worth also relates to the level of your assertion and empowerment. Once you begin to practice self-worth strategies you will soon develop more assertion and empowerment qualities. You will not be so timid in standing your ground towards others manipulations. Once you begin to stand your ground, your family, friends and workmates may dislike it as your personality-identity changes. The sabotage is: when you have a low self-worth, people usually walk all over you and when you hold high regard for yourself and honour yourself and stand in your power, you will not allow them to wipe their feet on your worthy doormat. This can create a conflict in your relationships and you are in danger of retreating if you are not prepared to get out of your comfort zone and ‘stand alone’. Change may cause a conflict in the beginning, but if there is unconditional love present with that relationship they will come around to support you, otherwise they will leave your life, because they cannot get what they want from you. If you give up on continuing to raising your level of worth due to family or social challenges, you can retreat back into appeasement, obligation and compromise. If you are not prepared to release anything and anyone who is feeding off you or stealing your energy in order to support their self-absorbed needs you may stop trying to improve your perception of self. That means, if anyone who cannot support you and allow you to choose your own journey, those who do not respect you for who you are and who you can become or those who try to control you through their agendas to get what they want – let them go, they don’t serve you in an empowering way. That is conditional love.

4. Release disempowering events, things and people. The greatest gift anyone can give to you whilst you are choosing to raise your self-worth and your consciousness is their love and support – with compassion but without judgement and agendas – no matter what you choose to do, even if it seems a silly or wrong choice for them. Whatever path you choose to walk down is appropriate for you, for that is what you need to experience to develop your growth and awareness.

True compassion is not just about sadness and pity – it is allowing you to choose your journey without others trying to control you, without others trying to change you or to enforce their righteous ways upon you. Having an agenda or expectation of trying to enforce and change you or what they think you should be, do or have, places limitations and controls onto you. They will disempower you if you allow others to control you, which will result in you retreating into submission or resisting and rebelling with conflicting drama games. Any self-absorbed limitation combined with conditional love suffocates relationships – causing conflict and breakdowns within relationships, as well as your health and abundance levels. This also means that you need true compassion for yourself for all the choices and experiences that you have had. To be able to raise your self-esteem is to release anything or anyone who does not serve your growth.

As you let go of things or people who do not serve you, you may feel that you are left stranded or alone with only a few to support you. As you stand in your power, you will attract other people into your life who will respect you for who you are, you will attract new relationships based on unconditional love into your life and you will attract more abundant opportunities.

Contributed by Pamela

Fortunately asserting oneself is easy because we have a built in mechanism that detects abuse. Heed this mechanism and you’ll never sacrifice your dignity again.

The mechanism is your GUT. Your gut is churns when something is wrong – like when you’ve been shortchanged or given a task beyond your responsibility. It’s a clarion call for you to speak out.

The next time that gut rumbles, don’t think. Act right away. Voice your concern on the spot. Say “I don’t feel good about this because… and I want…..”

This simple behavioral change will transform you from a weakling and into a leader. Then people take notice. You win respect!

Are you ready to live a better life?

If you want a change in lifestyle, you must be prepared to pause… and take that leap of faith. Here’s how you can do it.

Never look back.

When you decide to take a new job, don’t quibble. Quit now and start applying. Want a new relationship? Cease suffering the old one. Get out there and meet new people!  Want more money? Don’t second guess opportunities. Pick one, implement it and proceed.

The decisive take a leap of faith and reach a goal almost always. Those who look back trip their own feet. Others feel your indecision and subsequently treat you with reservation.

There can be no half measures.  Take that leap of faith. Confidence in your abilities empower you to succeed.

You want a lifestyle change? Then just do it now. And Don’t look back.

There’s a way to get things done with a smile.

Our mindset governs the driving force of our action. What do you think when you’re about to accomplish something?

“I have to do this”

“I must accomplish this”

“It’s my job”

“It should be done”

Thinking in terms of  ‘shouds’ and ‘musts’ demotivate us because we feel coerced. It robs us of choice… even if there is choice (otherwise you won’t be doing it). There is, however, an elegant way of re-empowering our decision to toil. It is to think this way:

“I am glad to do this”

A simple mind shift and BAM! You’ll suddenly see rainbows in the sky.

Gotta mop the floor? Think to yourself, “I’m happy to mop this floor!”

Try it.

 ”So- what could be a figure that your firm contributes to charity”

“I’d say a million dollars or two”

“Would a big percentage of it be to the AIDS fund (I read your pamphlets) or assorted causes?”

“Both.”

“What amount channels into the AIDS fund then?”

“Hmmm… maybe $600,000 or $700,000. That’s our yearly target”

“So you met that goal. The 700K?”

“Yes. We always meet our goals”

“That makes your firm unique. Few companies hit their mandated targets. It’s mostly PR yarn for the papers”

“Well, we did.”

“Did you actually direct the disbursement of charity to the AIDS Fund”

“I served on the company’s board for the AIDS Fund three years ago”

“So that means you have no inkling as to how much was really sent?”

“I hear figures.”

“So exactly how much is sent to AIDS Fund?”

“I think it’s 700K like I mentioned”

“You’re certain? I can quote you on this”

“Not until I look at the spreadsheets.”

“What about other funds, do you know the real dollar figures going there?”

“Ahh.. um…”

When people bluff, they often throw easy to remember numbers or simplistic facts. You can see it instantly. It’s like a child’s coloring book with single,  bold colors that lack varying hues. The truth is rarely that. It’s a Van Gogh painting of complexities. And when you begin dissecting, you see stuff underneath. Mutually supportive stuff.

It’s easy to destroy a bluff. You don’t want to be caught in one, so dazzle people with your honesty: tell them you don’t know. They’ll appreciate you for it.