Hurtful memories can stifle your development and growth. How do we break through this insidious mental conditioning? How do we grow and develop beyond hurtful episodes that bury themselves in our subconscious and influence our lives? How do we change and grow so that we can live our dreams?

The first step is to break the hold of these inhibiting influences from the past. Recognize them and then either get rid of them or turn them into a positive force that pushes you ahead rather than holds you back. Identify these inhibiting memories in your life so that you control them rather than allowing them to control you. Did someone hurt your feelings? Forgive them and forget it. Move on. Did someone punish you unfairly? It’s over. It’s done. Go on.
(more…)

Before you decide whether a single goal fits into your goals program, you should work that goal through a process that can help determine whether you should be pursuing this goal at the current time. This can take considerable time but it can save you much time and frustration by eliminating goals that are not for you at this time and helping to identify what you need to focus on now.

1. Target in on your goal: Your goal must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Remember: Some goals must be big and some goals must be long-range.

Significant goals must be broken down into smaller parts to ensure daily accountability. For example, if you want to lose 50 pounds this year, you can break that down to a goal of 4 pounds a month or 1 pound a week and then figure out how many calories you need to cut out or burn off to achieve that weekly weight loss.

2. Identify how you benefit from the goal: People often fail to reach their goals because they concentrate on the costs rather than the benefits. “If I lose the weight,” they reason, “I’ll have to give up this and do that.” Or “If I quit smoking, I know that I’ll gain weight and be miserable and difficult to get along with.”

Instead of concentrating on the negatives, think of the benefits that you’re going to enjoy. As you set goals, make a list of the tangible rewards that will be yours when you reach each goal. Each time you begin to ask yourself whether pursuing a goal is worth the effort, simply take out the list of benefits and read them aloud again.

3. List the obstacles that stand between you and your goal: You need to identify obstacles in order to be realistic and avoid being surprised. People have experienced many times that they had no idea that pursuing such-and-such a goal was going to be so demanding, require so much effort, take so long, and involve so many unexpected pitfalls. Careful planning in advance eliminates much of this disappointment, but you must understand that you can’t always see the roadblocks ahead. That’s why commitment, attitude, responsibility, and focus on the benefits remain constant necessities. Patience is also extremely important. Just remember that by keeping yourself focused on the goal, you can see the benefits and not just the obstacles.

Very few people get excited about obstacles. A mammoth traffic jam when you’re in a big hurry or a bad cold just before a long-planned vacation doesn’t create excitement in your life. Disappointments or setbacks of any kind are seldom viewed with enthusiasm. Yet those very difficulties should generate excitement, if for no other reason than that overcoming obstacles makes you strong and enables you to soar to greater heights.

What is success? The answer depends on who’s responding to the question. There are as many definitions of success as there are people. Success involves every facet of life: your relationships with others, your ability to make it in the business world, the health that you need to preserve, and the happiness that you enjoy. It also involves a security that goes well beyond financial security; I’m talking about the security of knowing that you have the love, trust, and support not only of family but of friends and associates as well.

However, success does include a degree of financial prosperity. (Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.) To be candid, we all like the things that money can buy: houses, cars, clothes, vacations, and so on. You don’t need to be super-rich, but you should have a great need not to be poor!

In addition to the financial prosperity that just mentioned, success should also mean success at home, success in your profession, and success with friends and associates. It also means peace of mind.

The question is, what can you do to achieve this balanced success that involves your personal, family, and business lives as well as your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, with a recognition of the need for financial prosperity? It starts with developing the right mental attitude.

Your journey toward success will flow more smoothly if you ride the “right” attitude all the way to the top. “I think I can” beats “I can’t” every time. A can-do outlook on life helps you to achieve goals in record time and make friends and lifelong business associates along the way. Everyone enjoys being around someone who is a solution-finder and who looks for the good instead of the bad in everything.

Here are some important points about attitude to keep in mind:

1. You need to have the right attitude toward your family, friends, and associates. An attitude of acceptance, forgiveness, love, kindness, respect, and consideration goes a long way in any relationship, including those with family members, friends, and business associates.

2. You need to have an accepting, open-minded attitude toward your personal growth and education. The world changes constantly; as they say, “Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.” Unless you change with it, you’re destined for mediocrity at best.

3. You must have a sensible attitude toward positive thinking. You may hear some people say that “Attitude is everything” or that “With positive thinking, you can do anything.” Careful analysis forces you to realize that this idea is simply not true. Of course being positive is a much needed tool for success, but it takes action, planning, and work – as well.

Keeping yourself from becoming a “friend” to the woman of your attraction can be a tough thing, but if you know what you’re doing, you’ll never have problems with it again. Follow a few steps to arouse her, and she’ll be wanting it as badly as you.

Our Favorite Par

Ahh, finally. Here it is, the chapter half of you skipped to first because you couldn’t help yourself, the PHYSICAL chapter.

This chapter isn’t the be-all end-all. In fact, it’s barely the beginning. But if you’ve ever had problems with the “just friends” syndrome, few instructions on this earth will do you better than this and the following.

Start at the Beginning

First, you need to be touching the woman from the START. Touch is a major nonverbal sexual cue. It doesn’t have to be anything sexual – in fact, it’s much better if it isn’t. You don’t want to slip into the scary psycho stalker demographic. (more…)

Be Specific: Write down every goal you have and put boundaries around it so that you will know when you have achieved that goal. Saying “I’m going to be a better manager,” “I’m going to be a better parent,” “I’m going to get a better education,” or “I’m going to get a new house” simply isn’t effective. You must specifically and clearly identify your target. The more details you give, the more likely you are to get excited about your goal and develop the passion that enables you to focus on reaching that target.

If you decide that you are going to be a better parent, for example, you must determine “better than what.” Better than being too tired after work to spend time helping with homework? Better than being impatient and yelling at the children over every little thing? Better than never saying “I love you”? You can see that this procedure doesn’t get to the solution quickly enough. Instead, decide to spend time with your child, be patient, and hold your tongue - except when it comes to saying “I love you.” Get specific! (more…)

Most memory training techniques involve exercises to improve linking objects to certain items or using numbering systems to stay on top of being forgetful. However, oftentimes the only thing that is needed to keep your mind on track is to get organized and to stay that way! Below are a few good tips that will help you:

Use a filing system effectively: Take the time to think through your filing system. Figure out what organization will work best for you - client files versus project files, color coding, and so on. Once you’ve worked out your system, make sure to use it. File all pertinent information in the appropriate file (not a desk pile). It’s also helpful to attach blank sheets of paper to the inside right back flap of file folders. Then, you can take notes on relevant conversations, memos, and meetings right where you need them. And make sure you put your files away in an organized fashion.

Use a task list for projects: Overwhelmed by a complex project? Think through the project concretely, step by step. Then, make a list for all these steps, or tasks, to help you get them done. Here’s another suggestion: Keep your task list stapled to the inside front cover of your project file. That way you can refer to the task list whenever you work on that project.

Avoid paper piles: Are you surrounded by a sea of papers at work? Is your dining-room table so covered with mail that you’re not even sure it’s still there? There are generally two things that happen to information buried in a paper pile - either it is forgotten or it can’t be found when you need it. Paper piles are like the plague - they should be avoided at all costs. When you get a piece of paper, you should do one of three things: file it, write the information down elsewhere (such as in your scheduler) and toss it, or simply toss it.

Avoid constantly putting information on sticky notes and other small pieces of paper: If you need to write something down, put it on your Master Plan or on your to-do list. While it’s okay to use a reminder such as a sticky note every once in a while, using such notes all the time will make them less noticeable and—as a result—less useful.

Organize your day according to your energy level: Most of us are at our best in the morning. Therefore, set aside time in the morning to work on projects that require your full focus and ability. Schedule less important meetings and other tasks for later in the day.

This ancient Chinese herb is an extract made from the leaf of the Ginkgo tree. It is the most well-documented plant extract used to support brain function - there are more than 1,000 studies of Ginkgo Biloba from all over the world. The consensus is that Ginkgo does help many people improve a variety of brain functions. It has been shown to minimize age-related memory problems (affecting learning, short-term memory, and recall), concentration problems, and absentmindedness. It may also help ease dizziness and vertigo, which often accompany forgetfulness, and tinnitus (ringing in the ears). A 1995 study found that high doses of Ginkgo helped Alzheimer’s patients as well. Another very rigorous study published in 1997 in the Journal of the American Medical Association duplicated these results: Patients who took Ginkgo for one month enjoyed improved memory and attention span; this improvement was even more noticeable when patients took the herb for three months. However, many experts believe its more significant contribution may be as a preventer of cognitive decline than as a treatment. Ginkgo is very popular in Germany and France, where more than 10 million prescriptions are written every year; in the United States it is available without a prescription.

Ginkgo seems to accomplish its many miracles in several ways. In the first place, it increases the circulation of blood to the brain, which improves the supply of oxygen, nutrients, and glucose. This enables neurons to create the energy and other chemical reactions you need to think and remember. It also boosts circulation to the inner ear, thus explaining its power to help heal tinnitus and dizziness, a malfunction of the nerves in the ear. In the second place, Ginkgo protects against free-radical damage and reduces inflammation. This further improves circulation by keeping your cardiovascular system in shape, and also protects the nerve cells themselves.

It is recommended that you take an extract standardized to 24 percent flavoneglycosides and 6 percent terpenelactones, or capsules of the dried herb. For prevention take 40 mg of standardized extract, or 120 mg of capsules daily, in divided doses. You may take up to three times this dose if you have mild to moderate symptoms. Some people notice an improvement within two to three weeks of beginning treatment, but, in most cases, you need to take Ginkgo for at least three months before you enjoy the full benefits.

Gingko biloba is essentially devoid of any serious side effects. Some people have reported mild headaches for a day or two when starting the herb, and some people have reported mild stomach upset. Do not take Ginkgo if you are on a blood-thinning medication, including aspirin or ibuprofen, because Ginkgo can add to the blood-thinning effect. For the same reason, avoid taking Ginkgo for two weeks prior to any surgery, including oral surgery.

Memory systems date back to antiquity. In the ancient world, a trained memory was of vital importance. There were no handy note-taking devices, and it was memory techniques and systems that enabled bards and storytellers to remember their stories, poems, and songs. Early Greek and Roman orators delivered lengthy speeches with unfailing accuracy because they learned the speeches, thought for thought, by applying memory systems.

What they did, basically, was associate each thought of a speech to a part of their own homes. These were called “loci,” or “places.” The opening thought of a speech would, perhaps, be associated to the front door, the second thought to the foyer, the third to a piece of furniture in the foyer, and so on. When the orator wanted to remember his speech, thought for thought, he actually took a mental tour through his own home. Thinking of the front door reminded him of the first thought of his speech. The second “place,” the foyer, reminded him of the next thought; and so on to the end of the speech. It is from this “place” or “loci” memory technique that we get the time-worn phrase “in the first place.”

Although Simonides (circa 500 b.c.) is known as the father of the art of trained memory, scraps of parchment dating back a thousand years or so before Simonides state that memory techniques were an essential part of the orator’s equipment. Cicero wrote that the memories of the lawyers and orators of his time were aided by systems and training and in De oratore he described how he himself applied memory systems.

It’s important to realize that oratory was an important career during those early days. “We should never have realized how great is the power of a trained memory,” wrote the philosopher Quintilian, “nor how divine it is, but for the fact that it is memory which has brought oratory to its present position of glory.”

The ancients also knew that memory training could help the thinking process itself. From a fragment dated about 400 b.c. we learn that “A great and beautiful invention is memory, always useful both for learning and for life.” And Aristotle, after praising memory systems, said that “these habits too will make a man readier in reasoning.”

If Simonides was the inventor of the art of trained memory, and Cicero its greatest early teacher, St. Thomas Aquinas was to become its patron saint, instrumental in making the art of trained memory a devotional and ethical art.

During the Middle Ages, monks and philosophers were virtually the only people who knew about and applied trained-memory techniques. The systems, whose use was mostly limited to religion, were basic to some religions. For example, memory systems were used to memorize Virtues and Vices, and some priests and philosophers taught that memory systems showed “how to reach Heaven and avoid Hell.”

Using memory tools are extremely useful. Below are 2 reasons why:

1. Memory tools get us to pay attention to things we need to remember. Using a memory tool, just like using any technique to boost your brainpower, will focus your attention more actively on information you need to remember. Why? When we work with information, we pay closer attention to it. (more…)

You are absentminded when your mind is absent; when you perform actions unconsciously, without thinking. There is a distinct difference between seeing and observing - we see with our eyes, but we observe with our minds. If your mind is “absent” when performing an action, there can be no observation; more important, there can be no original awareness. Absentmindedness is probably the most widespread of minor self-annoyances. Although it plagues most of us, it seems particularly to affect the elderly. The techniques we’ll discuss here have succeeded in eliminating absentmindedness for countless people, including the elderly. (more…)