A negative preconception is an unproductive way of viewing yourself. Preconceptions are previously formed opinions, or ideas, you have about yourself. These preformed opinions, or biases, about who you are can influence your future feelings and actions. The most significant way to determine whether or not you will succeed is whether your preconceptions are positive or negative. Negative preconceptions prevent you from motivating yourself. They also prevent you from taking positive action to change your self-image.

With barriers or unpleasant situations in your way, it’s extremely difficult to see clearly enough to remove the obstacles. When barriers block your growth process, your self-worth and self confidence are weakened. The opportunity to relate to, work with, or be acknowledged by others is diminished. Negative preconceptions are counter productive, self-punishing, and unhelpful. (more…)

To be happy, you must overcome fear, and the best way to overcome fear is with love. Many people, though, cannot find their love. It exists, but it’s buried beneath a cold snowdrift of hate. It’s easy to hate. You can hate anything from death to terrorists to an unloving father, etc. but hate does terrible interior damage. It tarnishes love, hides love, and often even kills love.

People often think they can hate some people and love others fully, but it’s hard. Love and hate can’t live in the same heart. Think of the happiest people you know. They probably don’t love just their spouses and kids and hate a number of other people. I’ll bet they have a smile for everyone and something good to say about almost anyone. They probably have no enemies - and not much fear.
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If you’ve reached the end of your rope, STOP. Stand back for a moment to drink in the big picture. Then take a large sheet of paper and brainstorm. Write down everything that you feel led to this dire moment.

Keep writing. Don’t analyze. It’s time for a massive data dump.

Do this for 5 minutes.

Then stop. Step back and look at the sheet. You’ll see a pattern. (aha! Do I hear a “Voila”?)

Now you know what you might want to do better. What to avoid.

What new thing to try.

Now fold that up and ask yourself… what else can I do that’s different from what Im doing now?

Do the same data dump.

Then check for patterns.

You’ll surprise yourself!

Throughout history, people believed that love comes from the heart, and poets still pay homage to this notion. Surprisingly, the latest science shows that this idea may be based in reality. The function of the heart does affect the mind and emotions, possibly even more than the hormone-producing endocrine system, which is sometimes referred to as the “second brain.”

The power of the heart to influence the mind and emotions was first examined scientifically in the early 1990s. Initially, researchers there were intrigued by the fact that transplanted hearts are able to beat immediately upon transplantation, even before nerves coming from the brain are functional. This occurs, they discovered, because the heart has an intrinsic nervous system of its own, which can cause it to beat even without messages from the brain. This nervous system consists of masses of nerve cells, or neurons, similar to those in the brain. These masses of neurons include parasympathetic and sympathetic neurons that make heartbeat possible: contract, relax, contract, relax. Without them, the heart cannot function. This nervous system has been dubbed the heart-brain.

Most fascinating of all, researchers discovered that the heart-brain even has the power to send messages to the brain. The messages are sent via the spinal cord and through the largest nerve in the body, the vagus nerve, which stretches from the brain to the torso. Therefore, it’s outdated to think that nerve messages travel only from head to heart: It’s a two-way street.

Because the heart can “speak” to the brain, through the vagus nerve and spinal cord feedback system, it sometimes overrides messages that come from the brain - particularly messages of distress, which can trigger heart attacks.

As researchers continued to study the surprising autonomy of the heart, which was previously considered by most scientists to be just a simple pump, they found that the heart is also an endocrine gland, which secretes its own hormone, ANF (atrial natriuretic factor). ANF influences not only the blood vessels and kidneys, but also the mood-influencing adrenal glands—and the brain.

In the brain, parasympathetic or sympathetic impulses coming from the heart help trigger the onset of either calming or excitatory thoughts. This may be the reason why some heart transplant patients occasionally adopt personality tendencies of their donors, a phenomenon that has been noted since the beginning of heart transplantation.

In emotionally healthy people, there appears to be a strong tendency for the heart and brain to have smoothly functioning dialogue, and to remain in synchronization, or entrainment. Entrainment appears not only to reflect a positive frame of mind, but also to help create it, in part by enhancing balance of the autonomic nervous system. The body, clearly, can help heal the mind. But what inaugurates this healing? The mind itself! Your mind, when focused on appreciation, has an unparalleled power to trigger physical and emotional healing.

My day job involves executive coaching as well as promoting really cool self-help products. It’s fun, enervating and really rewarding.

But money doesn’t always come fast this route. Think. How often does one need an executive coach, right?

So for steady income, I storm the internet. This the side of me few people know: Im a Marketing Warrior on the internet.

Everyone knows that the great thing about the web is that you can create a profit- lots of it- with virtually no start up capitalization. In fact, you can generate revenues off other people’s products! Starting right now! (more…)

Success and happiness means finding something you enjoy doing and then building your goals around it. For example, I have a friend who said she loved to bake cheesecakes but she was afraid that thinking she could make a living from baking them was silly. Instead, I told her to write it down so we could brainstorm about how she could make money doing something she liked. We came up with a strategy for her to begin setting goals and creating a success plan and she called me a couple of weeks later and told me she’d quit her job.

She said, “I am baking cheesecakes every day and selling the cakes at twelve dollars each to specialty food stores throughout Ohio.” She began making a good living doing what she loved. She was in control of her life and loving it. What if her cheesecake business had failed? That’s okay, because if you love what you are doing, at least you can enjoy the trip. George Burns said it best, “I would rather fail at what I love than succeed at what I hate.” (more…)

What is the real difference between “work” and “a job”? You labor at both of them. You could make money at both of them. But there’s a real difference! A job only pays the rent. After that, it might have no further meaning to you. But your life’s work feels worth doing. It’s all meaning, whether it makes money or not.

“Meaning” is a very big word, a lot tougher to unpack than “job” or even “work.” Let’s take a little time to talk about it.

What do you think makes work meaningful? Do you want your work to be meaningful like Mother Teresa’s work with lepers? Or Einstein’s theory of relativity? Will you save the world from destruction or create an illuminating work of art? Or do you have to make millions of dollars? Inside most of us is the feeling that truly meaningful work has to be on a giant scale, or has to lead to a kind of worldly “greatness,” like an Olympic medal. You need to find out what kinds of thoughts come into your mind about that phrase “meaningful work.”
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Social status is alluring. Throughout history, people have believed that they could fight their fear of not being enough by rising in the social hierarchy. But status is a slippery slope. No matter how high you climb, there are countless people still above you. And there’s always a long way to fall if your fortunes should fail. If you compare yourself to the people above you in the pecking order, you’ll sabotage your self-esteem. If you allow yourself to feel superior to the people below you, you’ll live in fear of dropping to their level.

Feeling superior to others is always tempting, but it’s a terribly weak tool for achieving happiness. It may pamper your vanity but it will never bring you peace of mind. If status really made people happy, white-collar workers would be markedly happier than blue-collar workers, since they enjoy more status. However, according to all sorts of studies, they’re not. (more…)

You definitely don’t want that. All that unwanted media attention, the psychiatric evaluations,
the police…

No way!

You want your child an upstanding and normal citizen.

You want Your Children To Grow Up Happy & Confident!

Bottomline:

You’d find numerous ways to explain values to kids and to help them grasp them and learning early in life about the principles of success. These techniques don’t demand that you do all the talking, just that you guide the learning process so your children can visualize your priority values for themselves. Inherent to the picture is knowing which behaviors exemplify the value and which demonstrate the opposite.

A responsibility as a cool parent is to explain your values in behavioral terms. Help your children grasp the emotional results of behaving in accordance with each value. In other words, it feels great to do the right thing. Let them see that that is the “What’s In It For Me” (more…)

Here we go again… Discussing every man’s favorite taboo topic !

Do you believe your girlfriend or wife when she insists she’s enjoyed an orgasm?

How can you know for certain that she’s not faking?

Here are some surprising facts about the elusive female orgasm

If you have never given your partner an orgasm, and you don’t know how… HERE’S HELP!
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