Refusals are rarely easy to convey. It helps when you are clear in your own mind that you do truly want to say “no”; any ambivalence undermines your authority. A very good motive for saying “no” is simply “I don’t want to.” When you have a precise basis for saying no and desire to name it, do so. Nonetheless, the fact that someone else wants you to do something bestow no obligation on you to secure your decision.

Convey a letter of refusal when giving a negative reply to invitations: personal/business; proposals; requests; propositions; wedding invitations. The following composes a list of best practices for refusal.

1. Appreciate the person for the offer.

2. Affirm your “no,” articulate your regret at having to do so. If fitting, elucidate your position.

3. Finish with a pleasant desire to be of more assistance next time, to accomodate the person again. Shun lengthy, involved justification and apologies; they are far from convincing, even if true.

4. Eschew phrases like “you may think,” “according to you,” “you claim.” Restate the person’s appeal, grievance, or angry letter in an impassive, factual manner. (more…)