A lot of us do not have as much self esteem as we might like. We tend to accentuate the negative and magnify our flaws, whether they are real or imagined. We cannot get past that – at least not consciously. Our brains simply will not allow us, at least without putting up a fight. Certain neural pathways in the brain get used to thinking one thing. In a way, they get lazy, and they refuse to change their own preconceived notions.

That is partly why hypnotism can be beneficial to people with low self esteem. It reaches your subconscious. You become so open that those neural pathways cannot hang onto their preconceptions with any degree of accuracy. People are very malleable when they are in this state. As you might imagine, that thus places them in a very vulnerable position. That is also why it is so important to make sure you are dealing with a fully licensed hypnotherapist when you decide to go this route.

When you are in a state of hypnosis, the therapist will be able to very gently manipulate your thought processes. They can make the suggestion that the little things you do not like about yourself are not really as big as you are making them out to be. They can give you the tools you need to start believing in yourself.

How often do you have these moods? Have you ever wanted to crawl out of this depression?

Believe it or not, its easy. All it takes is standing up, really straight, puffing out your chest and simply changing your position and location. Breathe in nice and smoothly for added measure.

A simply physiological change chases the blues away faster than prozac does. Try it.

Your belief in not feeling worthy enough, not being good enough, not deserving, not feeling confident, not being able to measure up to compare or compete against others standards or any other self-image experience that you have created, is just being a victim of demonic scenarios to where you fall short to others demands, which you have allowed these outside influences to dominate and control you.

Humanities self-worth issues can be broken down into three primary categories:

1. Are you a victim or a master of your life?
2. Do you measure up or fall short to others demands?
3. How do you perceive your flaws, your demons?

Let’s take a look at each individual category:

1. Are you a victim or a master of your life? When you feel that you are a victim, you have a need for that energy. Your victim energy is feeding off others that will serve you in some way. That serving energy is not an empowering energy, but a disempowered, enslaving and draining energy. When you dwell upon victim circumstances, you are getting something out of living that drama game, there is a secondary gain concept that is feeding you, there is a pay-off scenario that is serving you, but in a disempowering way. When you blame things and others for everything that happens to you, you are not only irresponsible for creating your experiences, but you keep that drama story alive, you bring your past into your future – to relive your past drama games. That energy aspect will keep haunting you until you address and release its stuck wounds. You keep yourself imprisoned and you attract events into your life on what you dwell upon.

Nothing and nobody can influence you and drain your energy or disempower you unless you allow it. You allow it by giving permission to allow people to treat you that way. You allow it by belittling yourself and not loving, accepting, nurturing and taking care of yourself. You also give permission for others to mistreat you by buying into their drama stories, their manipulations when you do not own and live your core truth, when you do not stand in your power and when you are not responsible for the events that happen to you. To let go of victim experiences and become a master of your life you need to be 100% responsible for all of your experiences, including the unconscious ones. Even the miserable events, bless and accept them, see the gift within every experiences for that is when your consciousness will grow and expand. When you look back at the event, you will see it differently, thorough different eyes – with openness, awareness, understanding, acceptance and wisdom. That is what will expand your consciousness.

2. Do you measure up or fall short to others demands? One of the biggest scenarios to lowering your worth is allowing others to belittle you and control you. To avoid intimidation you feel the need to measure up to their standards or so you can compete against others. Because the human instinct has a desire to love, to be loved and to belong, all outside conditions, agendas, judgments and controls place a lot of burdens upon your shoulders. Therefore you go out of your way to appease others just to keep the peace, you feel obligated to satisfy their desires so they talk well about you and you compromise your truth in order for them to accept you. In order to satisfy their requests you map out something, you design and plan so you can ‘figure out’ something to fulfil them. So you don’t fall short, you measure up not only once, but you measure up twice – which brings in the lack of trust. Then, if you get sick of struggling and fighting to gain respect you give up and stop trying. Have you noticed that your level of worth is all about your perception on how others will perceive you if you don’t or can’t conform to their rules and benchmarks. Again you are allowing others outside of you to dictate your level of worth, but when you raise your perception about yourself, your level of worth you will not attract people into your life who make you feel inferior. If these experiences occur, always look at yourself to observe how you see and treat yourself and when you change that scenario is when you change how others see and treat you.

3. How do you perceive your flaws, your demons? You are made up of many facets and aspects of self. These components are the roller-coaster of your ups and downs, hills and valleys of your story games, your many faces of fearful moods, your devilish beliefs, your daydreams or nightmares, and your unworthy, untrusting, and scarcity demon aspects etc – are all aspects of ‘you’. You are everyone of these aspects, they are a truth of your past and it is your creation that is still haunting you from these unworthy experiences. You created them and forgotten about them a long time ago, but you still believe you are unworthy because it is stored as a belief in your subconscious. In fact, that story truth is not your true essence, it is not who you are – it is a lie. You cannot remember most of these demonic aspects that you created in order to help you cope with a certain situation and you are now still playing that game. You reinforced your story of who you think you are so much it has become real, you have proven it and it is now your truth. At your core, it is an illusion, it is an old truth, it is your lie, for that is not who you are, it is a past truth that does not serve you in an empowering way at your present level of consciousness.

Some aspects of you, you dislike and others you like, the ones you don’t like are probably the fearful demon aspects that infringes on your physical and material desires and happiness. They are just an aspect of you. But it is the human you that is crying out that you are a victim and you don’t like this big bad world and that you feel unsafe and not good enough. All you want is to be worthy, healthy, wealthy and wise, but that is loaded with agendas and conditions and it will never fulfil itself.

You are ‘you’ in this moment, everything else is an aspect of the past. Whatever you cry out for is what you will receive. If you cry out that you don’t like yourself, or you don’t respect yourself – you will get that back. The aspects are playing that victim game and that is where your attention is flowing, which is what you are unconsciously choosing. When you unlock and unleash that stuck energy of your demonic flaws, when you let your unworthy, unloving or scarcity stories go, they don’t get to be bigger demons, they don’t come back to make mince meat of you. They get to revert back to ‘you’, back to your pure essence in a way that no longer drains you or frightens you or controls you, but actually goes back to its pure energy that is here to serve you in an empowering way in that now moment.

Contributed by Pamela

 ”So- what could be a figure that your firm contributes to charity”

“I’d say a million dollars or two”

“Would a big percentage of it be to the AIDS fund (I read your pamphlets) or assorted causes?”

“Both.”

“What amount channels into the AIDS fund then?”

“Hmmm… maybe $600,000 or $700,000. That’s our yearly target”

“So you met that goal. The 700K?”

“Yes. We always meet our goals”

“That makes your firm unique. Few companies hit their mandated targets. It’s mostly PR yarn for the papers”

“Well, we did.”

“Did you actually direct the disbursement of charity to the AIDS Fund”

“I served on the company’s board for the AIDS Fund three years ago”

“So that means you have no inkling as to how much was really sent?”

“I hear figures.”

“So exactly how much is sent to AIDS Fund?”

“I think it’s 700K like I mentioned”

“You’re certain? I can quote you on this”

“Not until I look at the spreadsheets.”

“What about other funds, do you know the real dollar figures going there?”

“Ahh.. um…”

When people bluff, they often throw easy to remember numbers or simplistic facts. You can see it instantly. It’s like a child’s coloring book with single,  bold colors that lack varying hues. The truth is rarely that. It’s a Van Gogh painting of complexities. And when you begin dissecting, you see stuff underneath. Mutually supportive stuff.

It’s easy to destroy a bluff. You don’t want to be caught in one, so dazzle people with your honesty: tell them you don’t know. They’ll appreciate you for it.

The answer’s simple. It’s in your gut.

Something’s definitely wrong when your gut wrenches. This indicates that you feel you’re being manipulated, twisted or given the short end of the stick. Most fail to listen to this inner intuition. They say yes right away, while their stomach screams nooooo!

Trust your instincts next time. Next time you feel bad about something, pause. Evaluate your response before aceding. It’s the first step to truly asserting yourself.

So how do you agree in order to win? Simply find some small aspect in their angry statement and agree with it. It’s like Judo- you take the wind out of their sails! So, let’s see an example.

They: “You’re late again, you don’t love me”

You: “I agree, being late upset you. Now it doesn’t mean I don’t love you… it means that I exerted a lot of effort picking up flowers on the way to please you.”

See… how does that sound? Now go out there and fight your battles the right way.

So next time something debatable comes up, speak your mind. Fight a bit. It’ll do you and your spouse a world of good.

Let me see. If you’re one of the millions of corporate blokes out there, you laze in front of TV, get drunk, read some old Men’s magz or just doze off. And while you’re at it, your brain shrinks while your belly bloats.

Aha! Is that a blush on your cheek? I thought so.

Leisure time that’s simply passive downtime is a monumental waste of time. It’s time that could have been spent more productively and yet enjoyably.

Consider the following activities that can get you a major rush.

1. Indulge in sports. Like badminton, table tennis, karate. Not only does a sport lower your waistline, it flood your brain with pleasure chemicals like endorphine. It’s a well known fact that sports knocks depression off its high horse

2. Join a club. Toastmasters, Rotary and Lions help you reach out and connect in a non-business environment. As you create social networks, you begin to experience what its like to be of service. Believe me: this can be very empowering.

3. Learn a skill. If programming all day gets your goat, try crafts or engine tweaking. You’ll enjoy a rush having something challenging to get home to and work on after your nine to five. Just make sure it doesn’t involve TV remotes.

4. Parlez vous francais? Learn a new language! French, Spanish, whatever! Not only does this stimulate the brain, it gets you an excuse to…

5. TRAVEL!! Now here’s my favorite. The simple act of walking down strange new places vastly widens your horizons and frees you to explore new ways of doing things. You’ll escape that boxed-in sensation most midlifers suffer from. Take the time to visit new cultures without 5 star hotels at least thrice a year. It’s more therapeutic than talking to a shrink

The last parking slot is taken. Do you scream?

The boss fires you. Did you jump the building?

If you said yes to any, I’m sorry to say, you’re a weakling. You simply react to events instead of choosing your own response.

The real movers and shakers chose proactively. The decide on positive behaviours that serve them well. In other words, they choose to be the cause of events. Not the effects.

Here are some tips you can use to rule your reality.

1) Before you react to something, ask yourself: does this serve me well?

2) Take the initiative. If you know you’ll be fired, resign.

3) Pretend you have just 30 minutes to live. How’d you do it?

4) Take ten seconds before acting on something. This prevents brash moves

5) When you’ve made your decision, don’t look back. Be consistent! Remember: never excuse your decisions. It’s your right!

Do you want a standing ovation the next time you deliver your speech? Try the following

1) Focus on the crowd, not yourself. Think of entertaining them. Don’t imagine them criticizing you.

2) Walk around. A lot. Act like you’re just bantering at the water cooler. This loosens you up.

3) Crack jokes. Smile. They’ll smile back. And you create rapport.

4) Tell stories. Everyone loves a great story! Watch how their eyes stop glazing over.

5) Finally- encourage audience participation. Ask them questions. Throw them opinions. Banter. Debate. Keep it quick flowing!

Now I came across a cool blog with great tips on the subject. You’ll want to check this out:
Standing Ovations