Rebuff occurs when someone says, “no” to your proposal, appeal, or action. Some people desire the approval of other people. They feel defenseless when told “no.” But the assertive person accepts “no” as a refutation in a specific situation and doesn’t imagine that he is being rejected as a person.

Communication is the manifestation of another’s perception. “No” is not a denial of you. It is the denunciation of an idea. Never take it personally. This only obscures your ability to communicate and diminish your effectiveness and understanding of the circumstances.

While there are some deceitful manipulators who say, “no” and mean it as a direct rebuff of you, most people desire the same things from communication as you do. Few enjoy being talked down to. Few relishes rejection. But honest and straightforward clarification of criticism or rejection goads you to resolve the divergence. Focus on remaining objective and not yielding in to your emotions.

Conflict spawned by criticism and rejection can be mitigated by clarifying the state of affairs with yourself and the other involved. Don’t shore up bad feelings of rejection and rage only to have them resurface at a later time. Clear the air. Convey your feelings. Accept the feelings and information of the other person. Then move on. With a smile.