Getting involved in a relationship and remaining true to yourself, your beliefs, and your individuality is very important. But how come few people actually have “themselves” ready before jumping into every relationship bandwagon that comes along?

To help you better understand what it takes before getting involved with someone, we have five ways in which you can tell if you are ready or not.

Autonomy: You must be enough of a separate individual to be able to risk giving up the relationship rather than lose your identity while in it. This will make it much less likely that the relationship will ever end. If you trust enough and you are separate enough, you will be able to tolerate being apart from your beloved without punishing him or her before and/or during and/or after their return from a being away, on a business trip for example.

Trust: You must have enough trust in yourself and in life itself so that no matter what happens in the dating process and beyond, you will endure – you will be just fine.

Initiative: If you have the ability to make things happen; the ability to initiate action without feeling unduly guilty all the time, when you will be able to express your needs and wants in the relationship. You will be able to make decisions for yourself that will bring fresh air and healthy change into the relationship. In other words, you will seldom get stuck in your life.

Competence: If you have developed, and continue to develop, your competencies (political, social, emotional, academic, artistic skills, etc.) and remain a competent person, then you will be able to take care of yourself even if you are single after breaking up a relationship. In other words, you must remain able to pay your bills, do worthwhile work, do your laundry, etc. without the need for someone to help you, or to make you not feel “lonely”. Being lonely like this and not being competent will only draw you back into a partnership that is unhealthy and based on convenience.

Identity: If you have a solid identity and know who you are, then you will be able to fully exist inside of a relationship without losing your “self” in the process. This means that you know yourself well enough to live by your convictions that you have earned through questioning and struggle.

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